Hey guys! I'd really appreciate it if anyone could give me some suggestions on how to improve the style and impact of the essay.
Thanks in advance!
Topic: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
Disclaimer: This is an essay about my challenges with Buddhism and how my perception changed. I'm not trying to offend anyone or their beliefs.
Essay:
"Buddham Saranam Gacchami, Dhammam Saranam Gacchami." These foreign words, uttered in this makeshift temple, are supposed to resonate within all Theravada Buddhists. I, on the other hand, don't experience any form of enlightenment.
In his attempts to convert me, my father would drag me all the way across town to visit this house. From the outside, the only thing signifying it as a religious institution was the giant white banner that read "Del Valley Buddhist Temple." Inside, the only thing indicative of a temple was the massive Buddha, standing atop a mound of offerings and earthly lotus flowers. The structure served as both a temple and living quarters for the monks, so the setting was odd at best. As the ceremony starts, everyone would sit around the altar to follow the monks in homage. Most kids would clasp their hands together and bow their heads while reciting the verse, many of whom do not even understand its meaning. I, on the other hand, would scuttle into a corner and stare at the Buddha while questioning the value of this activity. I neither knew nor understood the teachings of the Buddha, but at least I was honest to my beliefs. Often times I would hide away in the temples "security room" and browse Reddit until the end of the ceremony.
And there I was again, after the ceremony had long been finished, alone in the security room while browsing the self proclaimed "front page of the internet." While in the midst of looking through r/mildlyinteresting, the head monk slowly wobbled in. An old man in his late 70's, he had traveled the world studying Buddhism in places such as India and Japan. Everyone garnered respect for him. After plopping down in the worn plantation chair, we made some idle "chit chat." This went on for what felt like an eternity-he asked me questions about my family, about school, even about a girlfriend-but eventually he got down to the meat of the situation. He needed some help with the annual Poson festival: a celebration of when Buddhism first arrived in Sri Lanka. Seeing that I had nothing else to do, the monk asked me to participate. Refusing was not an option, otherwise I would end up disrespecting the entire Buddhist community, which my father was a committed member of. With a fake smile, I grudgingly accepted my fate. For the next month or so, I had sacrificed my Sunday's to plan an event I had no interest in.
In addition to building decorations for the festival, I was given the task of preparing the opening speech. This task required a strong understanding of Buddhist history, culture, and etiquette: I had none of those. In a desperate attempt to avoid any public embarrassment, I decided to finally learn the teachings of the Buddha. And so began my journey towards enlightenment. After weeks of reading through translated scriptures, bombarding the monks with questions, and intense googling, I finally managed to complete the speech.
In a flash, June rolled around, and with that came my deadline. With my speech in hand, I walked towards the front of the crowd, hopping over children and walking between the small cracks left by the sitting audience. With a single glance, the butterflies in my stomach disappeared-the crowd was much smaller than I anticipated. As I read my speech, I realized that most of the teachings coincided with my personal philosophies, and that the overarching concepts were the same. In that moment, I finally understood why the head monk personally asked me-an unqualified and inexperienced child-to represent one of the most important historical events in Sri Lanka. It was a trial to challenge my preconceptions of Buddhism and provide me with a fresh perspective of the religion. But, I believe the most important part was that it explained how taking things at face value might not always provide the complete picture. As I stood there, reading my speech in front of the elegant Buddhist statue, the afternoon sun shining down through the single octagonal window, I not only expanded my view of the world but also my heritage. I didn't convert to buddhism, but I did finally learn the meaning of "Buddham Saranam Gacchami, Dhammam Saranam Gacchami."
Thanks in advance!
Topic: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
Disclaimer: This is an essay about my challenges with Buddhism and how my perception changed. I'm not trying to offend anyone or their beliefs.
Essay:
"Buddham Saranam Gacchami, Dhammam Saranam Gacchami." These foreign words, uttered in this makeshift temple, are supposed to resonate within all Theravada Buddhists. I, on the other hand, don't experience any form of enlightenment.
In his attempts to convert me, my father would drag me all the way across town to visit this house. From the outside, the only thing signifying it as a religious institution was the giant white banner that read "Del Valley Buddhist Temple." Inside, the only thing indicative of a temple was the massive Buddha, standing atop a mound of offerings and earthly lotus flowers. The structure served as both a temple and living quarters for the monks, so the setting was odd at best. As the ceremony starts, everyone would sit around the altar to follow the monks in homage. Most kids would clasp their hands together and bow their heads while reciting the verse, many of whom do not even understand its meaning. I, on the other hand, would scuttle into a corner and stare at the Buddha while questioning the value of this activity. I neither knew nor understood the teachings of the Buddha, but at least I was honest to my beliefs. Often times I would hide away in the temples "security room" and browse Reddit until the end of the ceremony.
And there I was again, after the ceremony had long been finished, alone in the security room while browsing the self proclaimed "front page of the internet." While in the midst of looking through r/mildlyinteresting, the head monk slowly wobbled in. An old man in his late 70's, he had traveled the world studying Buddhism in places such as India and Japan. Everyone garnered respect for him. After plopping down in the worn plantation chair, we made some idle "chit chat." This went on for what felt like an eternity-he asked me questions about my family, about school, even about a girlfriend-but eventually he got down to the meat of the situation. He needed some help with the annual Poson festival: a celebration of when Buddhism first arrived in Sri Lanka. Seeing that I had nothing else to do, the monk asked me to participate. Refusing was not an option, otherwise I would end up disrespecting the entire Buddhist community, which my father was a committed member of. With a fake smile, I grudgingly accepted my fate. For the next month or so, I had sacrificed my Sunday's to plan an event I had no interest in.
In addition to building decorations for the festival, I was given the task of preparing the opening speech. This task required a strong understanding of Buddhist history, culture, and etiquette: I had none of those. In a desperate attempt to avoid any public embarrassment, I decided to finally learn the teachings of the Buddha. And so began my journey towards enlightenment. After weeks of reading through translated scriptures, bombarding the monks with questions, and intense googling, I finally managed to complete the speech.
In a flash, June rolled around, and with that came my deadline. With my speech in hand, I walked towards the front of the crowd, hopping over children and walking between the small cracks left by the sitting audience. With a single glance, the butterflies in my stomach disappeared-the crowd was much smaller than I anticipated. As I read my speech, I realized that most of the teachings coincided with my personal philosophies, and that the overarching concepts were the same. In that moment, I finally understood why the head monk personally asked me-an unqualified and inexperienced child-to represent one of the most important historical events in Sri Lanka. It was a trial to challenge my preconceptions of Buddhism and provide me with a fresh perspective of the religion. But, I believe the most important part was that it explained how taking things at face value might not always provide the complete picture. As I stood there, reading my speech in front of the elegant Buddhist statue, the afternoon sun shining down through the single octagonal window, I not only expanded my view of the world but also my heritage. I didn't convert to buddhism, but I did finally learn the meaning of "Buddham Saranam Gacchami, Dhammam Saranam Gacchami."
