Caring too much about others' opinions always worsens my mood. I had a tiring day filled with thoughts but actually it doesn't seem as bad as I thought from others' perspectives.
A night like any other, I was distracted from studying and feeling down. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imaginary scenes that have never happened.
How did this mess begin again?
As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the concept of the "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. Referring to that term. There are numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child" one after another. For reasons not entirely understood, these relics persist steadfastly in the collective consciousness of humanity, including parents, students, and others, particularly when compared to other individuals.
As I grew up, I constantly strived to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness from an external perspective. Neither my family, nor my friends, nor I could find a definitive answer to this. Eventually, I found my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.
Failure to live up to others' expectations led me to seek validation from other parts of myself such as family, friends, etc. That mindset persisted until I failed to apply for the class I had been dreaming of. It was only when my teacher, who had been supporting me for seven years, told me, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence without relying on luck like others". "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences that you may not have noticed before. Success may await you in this new environment. It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.
Yet I realized it was no matter who I was. I was not good enough, my ability was not as wonderful as others, but looking up, I was no one's equal, looking down, no one was my equal either. And I wanted to help everyone who felt that they did not fit the mold to reclaim their core values.
I came to realize that a person's value is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader, I gained a deep understanding of the pressures people face. However, I believe that a club provides an environment where people can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite the occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.
The impacts I was and am doing may not be enough to retract the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I wanted to devote my experiences to everyone, which can bring about a change in one's mind, and thus completely eliminate all toxic things. That will not be effective as soon as possible. Little by little, we can reach more people and eventually change the persistent yet harmful perfection standards.
A night like any other, I was distracted from studying and feeling down. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imaginary scenes that have never happened.
How did this mess begin again?
As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the concept of the "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. Referring to that term. There are numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child" one after another. For reasons not entirely understood, these relics persist steadfastly in the collective consciousness of humanity, including parents, students, and others, particularly when compared to other individuals.
As I grew up, I constantly strived to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness from an external perspective. Neither my family, nor my friends, nor I could find a definitive answer to this. Eventually, I found my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.
Failure to live up to others' expectations led me to seek validation from other parts of myself such as family, friends, etc. That mindset persisted until I failed to apply for the class I had been dreaming of. It was only when my teacher, who had been supporting me for seven years, told me, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence without relying on luck like others". "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences that you may not have noticed before. Success may await you in this new environment. It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.
Yet I realized it was no matter who I was. I was not good enough, my ability was not as wonderful as others, but looking up, I was no one's equal, looking down, no one was my equal either. And I wanted to help everyone who felt that they did not fit the mold to reclaim their core values.
I came to realize that a person's value is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader, I gained a deep understanding of the pressures people face. However, I believe that a club provides an environment where people can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite the occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.
The impacts I was and am doing may not be enough to retract the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I wanted to devote my experiences to everyone, which can bring about a change in one's mind, and thus completely eliminate all toxic things. That will not be effective as soon as possible. Little by little, we can reach more people and eventually change the persistent yet harmful perfection standards.
