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Perfectly Imperfect - personal statement | International Relations



Haiha0205 1 / 4  
Sep 17, 2024   #1
Caring too much about others' opinions always worsens my mood. I had a tiring day filled with thoughts but actually it doesn't seem as bad as I thought from others' perspectives.

A night like any other, I was distracted from studying and feeling down. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imaginary scenes that have never happened.

How did this mess begin again?

As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the concept of the "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. Referring to that term. There are numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child" one after another. For reasons not entirely understood, these relics persist steadfastly in the collective consciousness of humanity, including parents, students, and others, particularly when compared to other individuals.

As I grew up, I constantly strived to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness from an external perspective. Neither my family, nor my friends, nor I could find a definitive answer to this. Eventually, I found my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.

Failure to live up to others' expectations led me to seek validation from other parts of myself such as family, friends, etc. That mindset persisted until I failed to apply for the class I had been dreaming of. It was only when my teacher, who had been supporting me for seven years, told me, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence without relying on luck like others". "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences that you may not have noticed before. Success may await you in this new environment. It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.

Yet I realized it was no matter who I was. I was not good enough, my ability was not as wonderful as others, but looking up, I was no one's equal, looking down, no one was my equal either. And I wanted to help everyone who felt that they did not fit the mold to reclaim their core values.

I came to realize that a person's value is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader, I gained a deep understanding of the pressures people face. However, I believe that a club provides an environment where people can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite the occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.

The impacts I was and am doing may not be enough to retract the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I wanted to devote my experiences to everyone, which can bring about a change in one's mind, and thus completely eliminate all toxic things. That will not be effective as soon as possible. Little by little, we can reach more people and eventually change the persistent yet harmful perfection standards.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Sep 18, 2024   #2
Well, this is an insightful personal statement when one considers that it is an introspective presentation. You learned a lot about yourself in comparison to societal expectations and what your actual abilities are. This introduces you to the reviewer in a somewhat deep manner. Somewhat deep because you still held back from discussing certain instances that would have allowed him to see even deeper into your background.

The reviewer can sense that you are holding back certain information perhaps for societal reasons. He won't mind. I am unable to go beyond this superficial review of your paper because you did not present the prompt that you are responding to. I am not sure if it aligns with the prompt and if there are areas for improvement. I need the prompt if you want a deeper review. By the way, your word usage is sometimes incorrect. You would do well to have this essay proofread by a professional before you use it with your application.
OP Haiha0205 1 / 4  
Sep 18, 2024   #3
@Holt
Thank you for your advice. I am ready to take your feedback again when I have revised my personal statement next time
OP Haiha0205 1 / 4  
Sep 23, 2024   #4
Merged:

Personal Essay / International Relations / PERFECTLY IMPERFECT



Personal Essay
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

Constantly worrying about others' opinions casts a shadow on my mood. I had a tiring day filled with thoughts, but it doesn't seem as bad as I initially perceived it through others' perspectives.

A night like any other, these thoughts often distract me from studying and leave me feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imagined scenarios that never took place.

How did this mess begin again?

As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the term "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. This term refers to the numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child," which create a benchmark against which are often compared. For reasons not entirely understood, these expectations remain ingrained in the minds of parents and students when evaluating individual success.

As I grew up, I constantly sought to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness. Neither my family nor my friends could provide a definitive answer. Eventually, I discovered my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.

Failing to meet others' expectations drove me to seek validation from family and friends. This mindset persisted until I didn't gain admission to my dream class. It was only when my teacher-who had supported me for seven years-said, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence, without relying on luck like others." She continued, "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences you may not have noticed before. Success may await you there." It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.

I realized that it didn't matter who I was; I was not good enough by those standards, and my abilities were not as remarkable as others. However, looking up, I found that I was no one's equal; looking down, no one was my equal either. I wanted to help everyone who felt they did not fit the mold reclaim their core values.

I came to understand that a person's worth is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader gave me a deep understanding of the pressures people face. I believe that a club provides an environment where individuals can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I have always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.

The impact I have made, and continue to make, may not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I am dedicated to sharing my experiences to inspire change in others' mindsets and to eliminate toxicity. Though transformation is gradual, I am committed to making gradual changes that will resonate with others and ultimately change the persistent yet harmful standards of perfection.


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