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Persistent-UBC Personal Essay- Tell us about who you are



eve1112 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2020   #1

TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE.


How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)


To everyone I have ever met, I am outgoing, talkative and amiable, at least for the first thirty seconds. Being a girl in a society whereby the way you look people determine your capabilities, I have learned having those three adjectives being my only descriptor is not enough if I want to achieve my goals in life. As people get to know me, their description of me changes to passionate, hardworking, and ambitious, but what I am the proudest of is being described as persistent.

In elementary school, when I first immigrated to Canada, everyone in my community, including my friends, treated me as if I did not have the capabilities to have higher-level thinking due to my language barrier. I showed I was persistent when I worked hard and improved my English skills to change their perception.

In 2017 within the span of one year, I lost my grandmother, and my father was admitted into the ICU; these two events affected me very deeply. My grades began to slip, but when I realized if I wanted to help people like the doctors that helped my father, I persevered and brought my grades up.

I continued with my persistent mindset as I was determined to help people even with the COVID-19 restrictions. By joining a volunteer project and organizing university information sessions, was my way of providing support to my community during these unprecedented times. This was a time where my persistence not only helped me but also helped others.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15400  
Dec 14, 2020   #2
This is an essay that does not use your point of view to describe how others might see you. The reference point needs to be in the third person for your family members (either parents or siblings), friends (group or bestie), teacher, or community group you participate in. You are not meeting the character and conduct reference requirements of this essay. Let the reviewer know how you function under different social circumstances. What kind of child are you? Sibling? Friend? Best Friend? Student? Community member? You really fell away from these discussion points in the essay. You lost track of what the requirement for the discussion really is. So you will need to go back and write a totally new essay. You also failed to speak of something that you are most proud of in the essay. It is almost as if you are writing an open topic, rather than prompt provided essay here. Your current version does not respond to the given task.
OP eve1112 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2020   #3
@Holt Thank you so much I will try again, I appreciate your help and suggestions.


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