The topic is pick your favorite quote and why it is meaningful to you.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
It was the 2004 Florida Youth Hockey League State Championship Game; my team was down by one goal with one minute remaining. I had the puck with only the goalie to beat; I saw the winning shot in clear view. I knew I could have tied the game with one shot; I hesitated and never attempted the shot. We ended up losing that game. Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." After the heartbreak and humility of losing that game, I made sure that quote defined the way I live my life.
This quote is influential to me because I do not only apply it to hockey; I apply it to my daily life as well. I truly believe that you should never let the fear of failure get in the way of what you are trying to accomplish. It is foolish to be afraid of something you have not yet attempted. The worst that can happen is you fail! Then again, you still fail if you never take the risk and try. Great leaders learn from their mistakes and keep trying until they are triumphant. I strive to be great, if you look throughout history great people at one point in their life failed and they were never afraid of failure. They put it all on the line, did not look back; this is what builds character and great leaders.
As I get older, looking back on my life, I want to feel confident that I exhausted every effort and utilized all the opportunities available to me. These efforts and opportunities will help propel my future in the areas of my life including education, relationships, business, and sports. This resiliency defines the person that I am.
I am no longer afraid of taking risks. If I fail, I see it only as a stepping stone to gaining more knowledge and to becoming more successful. I want to become a successful person in everything I attempt. I'd be honored to be admitted and allowed to further pursue my educational goals at a university as prestigious as Florida State University. I would be an asset to your university because I am goal oriented, extremely persistent, resilient, and I am always willing to put it all on the line in order to succeed.
Greetings!
Your essay is excellent, and nearly perfect. I have only a couple of small suggestions:
I strive to be great. If you look throughout history, great people at one point in their life failed and they were never afraid of failure. - I changed the punctuation; you need either a period or semicolon, and I think a period works better. I also added a comma.
I'd be honored to be admitted - I would recommend not using contractions; say "I would"
The only other suggestion is that you might want to tie your last sentence to your quote by saying something like "I may not hit 100% of the shots I take, but I will not hesitate to take that winning shot."
Best of luck in your studies!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
