Hello everybody! I am an Ecuadorian student trying to get accepted by U of Pittsburgh.
I have to write an essay. Unfortunately I may have several grammatical errors...
I wish you can help me with that and I'd also like to get your opinions concerning the essay itself...
Thanks in advance!!
The essay focuses on a video game addiction problem I had while I was in high school, and how I overcame it.
Provide us with a brief statement of about 500 words in which you address one of the following topics: 'Describe an experience that has led you to choose your current career objective' or 'Describe a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.' In your response, be sure to include how the experience will impact your time at the University of Pittsburgh.
It had been a strange year. I was only 15. I remember it was a sunny day in February when something happened, that made me realize my life had more value than I had been giving it. "It's the time to change that way of being", I told myself. The truth is that this moment is the one that gave meaning to my future, outlining the objectives, which until then had been pretty disoriented, much of it thanks a great nonchalance I had in relation to life.
I cannot say that my life had been like that all the time, perhaps in spite of not having defined goals I always used to provide a decent amount of time to my responsibilities, which is something that was precisely in my head at the time I took the decision that came to my mind that hot day after a very important event occurred. I remember asking: "Really?" to my little brother when he told me with a worried tone that a call had been made from my high school in order to inform my critical performance on that period. I found it quite hard to believe since I considered my school pretty carefree of those things, which is not unusual considering the situation of public institutions in my country at the time. I got really shocked when I walked into my room and saw what was about to happen.
My father has always been a really difficult person who is not easy to understand; he is quite serious and he is always looking forward his children to achieve a lot more than he did despite the fact of having a very difficult life without the presence of a father figure. The sight of him sitting next to my bed waiting for me with my high school record in his hands was a big surprise; I did not know what would happen next. It was after a long talk I realized that my path was crooked and was not going where it should. That was the moment that changed my future course for good, after that "lapse" hadn't been because of what my father said, maybe I would have ruined my future.
I always used to laugh at the situations I saw on TV, I remember believing that video game addiction was not something that could really happen, or that if it did, it wouldn't be something serious, but I realized that as alcoholism, video game addiction is something that can be critical and that locks you in a place that you can't leave unless you react with the help of the people around you and only when you realize that living life is more important and that not everything ends up when a crisis appears, you then learn overtake it. With some luck and support, I straightened my road up and changed for good.
Although a computer became a the main cause for the occurrence of this problem, over the years I realized that it is also a tool that can achieve great things, and that is why I want to go far in that field and if possible I hope that the University of Pittsburgh allows me to do so, taking there all these new attitudes and ways of thinking that I eventually came to acquire.
Nobody has a clear idea about his future, but I know that a great institution such as this one will help me to develop my research skills and allow me to accomplish great things.
I have to write an essay. Unfortunately I may have several grammatical errors...
I wish you can help me with that and I'd also like to get your opinions concerning the essay itself...
Thanks in advance!!
The essay focuses on a video game addiction problem I had while I was in high school, and how I overcame it.
Provide us with a brief statement of about 500 words in which you address one of the following topics: 'Describe an experience that has led you to choose your current career objective' or 'Describe a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.' In your response, be sure to include how the experience will impact your time at the University of Pittsburgh.
It had been a strange year. I was only 15. I remember it was a sunny day in February when something happened, that made me realize my life had more value than I had been giving it. "It's the time to change that way of being", I told myself. The truth is that this moment is the one that gave meaning to my future, outlining the objectives, which until then had been pretty disoriented, much of it thanks a great nonchalance I had in relation to life.
I cannot say that my life had been like that all the time, perhaps in spite of not having defined goals I always used to provide a decent amount of time to my responsibilities, which is something that was precisely in my head at the time I took the decision that came to my mind that hot day after a very important event occurred. I remember asking: "Really?" to my little brother when he told me with a worried tone that a call had been made from my high school in order to inform my critical performance on that period. I found it quite hard to believe since I considered my school pretty carefree of those things, which is not unusual considering the situation of public institutions in my country at the time. I got really shocked when I walked into my room and saw what was about to happen.
My father has always been a really difficult person who is not easy to understand; he is quite serious and he is always looking forward his children to achieve a lot more than he did despite the fact of having a very difficult life without the presence of a father figure. The sight of him sitting next to my bed waiting for me with my high school record in his hands was a big surprise; I did not know what would happen next. It was after a long talk I realized that my path was crooked and was not going where it should. That was the moment that changed my future course for good, after that "lapse" hadn't been because of what my father said, maybe I would have ruined my future.
I always used to laugh at the situations I saw on TV, I remember believing that video game addiction was not something that could really happen, or that if it did, it wouldn't be something serious, but I realized that as alcoholism, video game addiction is something that can be critical and that locks you in a place that you can't leave unless you react with the help of the people around you and only when you realize that living life is more important and that not everything ends up when a crisis appears, you then learn overtake it. With some luck and support, I straightened my road up and changed for good.
Although a computer became a the main cause for the occurrence of this problem, over the years I realized that it is also a tool that can achieve great things, and that is why I want to go far in that field and if possible I hope that the University of Pittsburgh allows me to do so, taking there all these new attitudes and ways of thinking that I eventually came to acquire.
Nobody has a clear idea about his future, but I know that a great institution such as this one will help me to develop my research skills and allow me to accomplish great things.
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