What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT?
Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?
The Fashion Institute of Technology has not always been my dream school and I'm not at all sure that I would make the perfect candidate here, but what I do know, is that this is where I want to be. This is where I want to further my education, and this is where I want to make my mark as an artist. I can't promise that I'll be a perfect fit here, or that I'll do everything right. But I can promise my full and utter devotion to this school and my studies. Perfect is something people strive for but is almost always unattainable. I think that is irrelevant in this case though, because I feel as though everyone's imperfections are what makes FIT what it is today. From the leaps and bounds being made to be able to remain a sustainable school to the everyday rigorous innovations in technology. None of this could have been done without its multitude of perfectly imperfect people, from student to professor. Art has been my main form of expression for as long as I can remember. It started with finger painting my preschool's classroom walls and there has yet to be an end in sight. Creating art has made me experience things I've never experienced doing anything else. From that feeling of accomplishment when I finish a last-minute project for someone that nobody thought I'd finish to that feeling of serenity when I see the look on my customer's face opening that shoe box. It's almost surreal. Three years ago, I started my own business, customizing sneakers and clothing, and I have never been more passionate about anything in my entire life. I find myself working 24, 48-hour days, but it's not even right to call it "work"; it's my life. I know I would make a great candidate for FIT because I am able to bring so many different aspects of the art world into one place. My diverse set of skills is not matched by many. Not only will I be fully committed to everything I do here, but I will love every moment of it. My (often annoying) perfectionist personality will not allow me to strive for anything less than that. I am not going to act like I know exactly what I'm doing, because I don't. But I know that I will put my 100% all into everything that I do here. I am extremely interested in the Fashion Business Management program. I'm sure when most people think of fashion school they think of designers and models and all that pizazz. But it's so much more than just that, with no discredit to them of course. But I want to be the backbone, the team behind the designers. Don't get me wrong, I love creating art and letting my creative juices flow, but much like a mushroom, I grow better in the shadows. I'm not striving to be in the spotlight, but rather to make a difference. I'm interested in making a difference, and that's why I want to attend FIT.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691
Using reverse psychology to try and win a student slot at FIT is not going to work. You cannot sound disinterested in attending a school that hundreds of applicants are striving to attend. You cannot say that you are not interested in the school but that is where you are meant to be. Do not use contradictions in your personal statement. That is not only confusing to the reviewer, but it can be viewed as purely negative depending upon who will be reading your paper. In all honesty, if I were the reviewer and I read this essay, I would set it in the reject pile. Why? There is nothing you like about the school. You do not even feel that you belong there. So, why are you applying for admission then?
Thank you for your feedback. I am going to remove the part about it not being my dream school. But do you have any suggestions on ways that I can keep the "I dont know if i am the perfect candidate" aspect, because it is what I truly believe. But if not, thats okay too.
I would delete the "I dont know If I am the perfect candidate." This essay is about pitching yourself to FIT. Even if you feel as if you are not qualified to be in the school it should not be mentioned in the essay. The essay is about "selling yourself" as a great fit and someone who will do well at FIT. By stating this in the essay you are already letting the admissions know that you are not fit to be in the school. Write the essay as if you know you are the perfect candidate for this school, don't sell yourself short. Focus more on what drives you to be an artist and your devotion to your work.
Coming from an aspiring designer myself, I don't think you would enjoy attending FIT. You don't sound very passionate about the education you would receive there, despite claiming to be. You have to convince them you're the best option they have, and nothing in your essay is convincing of that at all.