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My plans are connected with Indonesia if I'll be not able to receive the scholarship (100 words max)

andreazarina 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2019   #1

THE life-changing OPPORTUNITY

Entering the University of ....... with the ......... Scholarship would be life-changing for me. However, if I am not awarded with said scholarship, I am planning to continue my undergraduate studies at the University of Padjajaran in Indonesia. As a senior student, my friends and I are currently taking extra courses in school as a preparation to take tests to enter our chosen university. To balance it all out, I would love to explore Indonesia. It has always been a dream of mine to see the sunrise from Mount Bromo in East Java.

Please give some feedbacks on my essay. Thank you in advance! ^-^

I dont know who changed what I wrote there, but the question for the essay is " if you are not awarded with the scholarship, what are your plans in the next four years? (100 max)

Ulaai 3 / 40 25  
Jan 2, 2020   #2
What major are you applying for? I'm sure aside from this one, you have written another essay that explains why you want to get the scholarship in order to study major X in University Y. If you're not accepted, how will you reach your goal and aspiration that is stated in this essay? There are surely many ways to reach a goal. I think this is what the admission committee wants to know from you. Consider these questions as a base to write your essay.

Hope this helps and good luck! :)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,107 3258  
Jan 15, 2020   #3
Your response sounds too relaxed for the prompt provided. You need to take a more serious tone in response to the question. If you are not accepted, then you have to make it clear to the reviewer that you will do everything you can to help improve your chances of applying for and being accepted into the scholarship program next time. That means, you focus less on friends and travel and concentrate more on improving your academic and community service profile in relation to the scholarship expectations. That is what you will do while continuing to receive a college education in line with your current interests. Make it clear that you will do your best to get the scholarship but that you have other options in relation to your academic desires such as applying for other scholarships, if you actually need to or simply doing your best to complete a relevant education as best as you can.

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