"playing tennis" - UIUC essay!

University of Illinois Urbana Champaign Essay 2

In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

Of all the activities that I have picked up or participated in over the years, playing tennis has been one of the most entertaining and enriching ones.

I started learning how to play tennis at the age of 11 so that I could enjoy the game with my parents and their friends. Tennis was a weekly affair for them and I wanted to be a part of it. I also chose tennis as it was a good form of exercise that conditioned me physically and prepared me for other physical activities that I subsequently participated in.

After playing for about 2 years recreationally, I got quite good at the game and was selected to represent both Victoria School and Meridian Junior College in the Singapore National Inter-School Tournaments for a total of 6 years. In the midst of these 6 years, I also participated in individual open competitions to gain experience by playing with older and more experienced players.

There are various reasons that I chose to continue with playing tennis for the past decade. One of which is playing tennis has enabled me to meet many different people from tennis clubs, teams, trainings etc. Tennis has allowed me to meet some of my closest friends on the court.

Another reason I continued is that through tennis I have learnt many important lessons that I can take out of the court with me. For example, playing in a team has taught me the importance of working in a team as well as sportsmanship. Playing in a tournaments has also nurtured mental "toughness" in my mind as well as the "never give up" attitude which I believe would be useful in every challenge that I face in the future.

Tennis is definitely a lifetime sport for me and I will definitely keep playing until my legs give way!

^Your introductory paragraph is weak, due to it's rather cliched style.
Has tennis allowed you to meet some of your closest friends, or make some of your closest friends?
Your grammar in your penultimate paragraph needs revision. Also, the mannerism of expression is nothing extraordinary due to it's relative basic structure.
Your final sentence is ineffective. How is it 'definitely' a life time sport?

Your essay is alright, but it is nothing extraordinary. If you are looking for an essay that just answers the prompt, this should be fine. If you are looking for an essay to 'wow' your readers, I would suggest improving it, perhaps by using original and interesting expressions rather than trite ones.

Good luck

In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

Wiping the beads of sweat off my forehead, I bounced the ball a couple of times before my service to keep my composure. I took aim and tossed the ball high up in the air and swung the racket with all my might. In a split second, I rushed to the centre of the court to prepare for my next shot. My opponent struggled as he tried to return the ball, but to no avail...

Game, set and match Lennard from Victoria School. Upon hearing those words echo from the umpire's chair, I felt a sudden rush of adrenalin through my veins as I walked over to shake my opponent's hand. I had just won my first match.

When I was a young boy, I would often hang around the tennis court every week when my father and his friends would play. I was intrigued with how fast paced the game was as well as the sound of the racket whipping the ball each time it lands on either side.

Finally when I was 11, my father decided it was time for me to start learning the game, I was so excited. He got one of his friends who happen to be a coach to show me the ropes of the game. That was when I realised that watching them play was so much easier compared to playing the game. I could never get the balls to land on wherever I was aiming at. Despite all this, I trained hard, striving to be the best I could be.

Subsequently as I progressed to secondary school and junior college, I was selected to train with and play for the school team in the national interschool competitions. Despite the tough and long training hours and competition schedules, I persevered as I knew these would only improve my game.

Playing tennis not only improved my physical fitness but also conditioned my mind. Mentally, it has sharpened my reflexes and inculcated decisiveness as split second decisions are critical to the game. Furthermore, being in the school team also nurtured the importance of sportsmanship in me which would make me a team player, something that you would need to experience in order to learn.

New and improved version! But it needs alot of summarizing. Help would be appreciated. Currently at 369 words.