We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)
I tighten my grip on the barbell, and prepare to pour every drop of energy I have left into the final rep. I let the bar down, breathe, and push. My teeth clench, my arms shake, and my calloused skin rubs against the gnarled metal. Slowly, my arms extend, and I let out a small grunt of exasperation as I struggle. Finally, my arms lock out, and I exhale, releasing the tension. My muscles are sore, but my mind is relaxed. Working out, a purely physical activity, provides a respite from all the complications of life.
Please review, thank you!
I'm of two minds about this. It certainly is a vivid description of the process of weight-lifting. So, if you were hoping to show off your verbal skills, this is fine. On the other hand, by pouring all of your 100 words into the description of a single rep, you pass up the opportunity to say something more about yourself then the rather mundane "I work out to relax."
Alright, I changed it to be more of an overview of why I like working out:
Working out allows me to exert effort without complications. Life is stressful at times, and dealing with a purely physical activity for an hour provides a nice balance. Working out takes effort, but it is a different kind of effort than the kind that the complications of life require. There is no pressure, no complex ideas, no broad concepts. Those things are important, but I need a break, a time for simpler tasks. I immerse myself in the intensity of the workout and let my stress manifest as physical exertion. The tension in my mind becomes tension in my muscles.
How is this?
Working Out - MIT Short Answer "What do you do for fun"
Working out allows me to exert effort without complications. Life is stressful at times, and dealing with a purely physical activity for an hour provides a nice balance. Working out takes effort, but it is a different kind of effort than the kind that the complications of life require. There is no pressure, no complex ideas, no broad concepts. Those things are important, but I need a break, a time for simpler tasks. I immerse myself in the intensity of the workout and let my stress manifest as physical exertion. The tension in my mind becomes tension in my muscles.
Which one is better? Or are neither of them good?
It seems the first one has a more narrative feel to it. Maybe you can try to use the first one but add more information on how it helps you relieve your stress.
I liked the first one better then the second one. It draws you in, unlike the second response which seems more bland
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