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If we had the power to dissolve anything? - University of Chicago supplement

Juliano 11 / 29  
Dec 14, 2010   #1
Essay Option 3. Salt, governments, beliefs, and celebrity couples are a few examples of things that can be dissolved. You've just been granted the power to dissolve anything: physical, metaphorical, abstract, concrete...you name it. What do you dissolve, and what solvent do you use?

Inspired by Greg Gabrellas, A.B. 2009

Please give me any ideas. Sorry if my grammar is bad, it is the one thing about english i struggle the most with with. So sorry in advance.

Human beings have been plagued by a disease since our beginings. It is shown in our biblical stories, history books, and other literary works. It has caused death, despair, and chaos to encapsulate our world. It has been in our hearts and has led us as a species to commit heinous acts against one another. This disease is the hate that we have towards our fellow human beings. If I could dissolve anything in the world I would dissolve the hate in our hearts towards our fellow man. Hate has caused and causes to this day problems in our world that have deep and lasting impact. It is the reason tension and war exist in the Middle East today and the motivation behind terrorists and their attacks. It is this hate that is causing violence between the Israelis and Palestinians in Isreal. Hate caused tragedies like the Holocaust and the genocides in Kosovo and Bosnia. It causes people to loose family members and some their lives. It is a part of our lives that we are both ashamed of and desperately want gone. It is a force that blinds all humans from reality and destroys all morality. It has been in us since the dawn of man beginning with Cain and Able. The ability to dissolve hate would be a miracle and would help to create the world peace and utopia we have always dreamed of.

I realize that dissolving hate is very idealistic and my solvent is even less pragmatic. The solvent I would use to dissolve hate isn't anything magical in fact it has been thought of before by cheesy kid cartoon shows such as Yu-Gi-Oh and others. The solvent is simply an understanding of one another which can only be achieved by an educated public especially our youth. Hate is caused by the misunderstanding of other cultures and people. It is a result of our inability or desire to see life through others eyes. If people begin to enlighten themselves about different cultures we will see that we should not condemn difference in beliefs, race, or ideas but celebrate them for America in its essence is this and it is one of the most prosperous places on the planet. If people can comprehend this then the hate that has plagued us for so long can be eradicated. Understanding can only be achieved through an educated public because contrary to belief ignorance is not bliss. Only through an educated public can we eliminate the animosity we have against each other. Understanding can eliminate the disease from our minds, hearts, and bodies and hopefully put an end to the atrocities committed because of it. If we do not end hate we will be forced to repeat our painful history.
ftfn 4 / 13  
Dec 15, 2010   #2
A nice essay, deep-thought...
I love your beginning and your end. I think you should :
1.make your sentence shorter
2.reduce the time using"It..." "I think..." "If..."
I hope my suggestions could help.you...
Good Luck!
OP Juliano 11 / 29  
Dec 15, 2010   #3
Thank you for all of your suggestions and i like the ones you made. This has helped out a lot more then you know. Thank you again for your help and i hope my comments on your essays helped you.
MirayPhilips 5 / 37  
Dec 16, 2010   #4
Cain and Abel not Able.

I loved the essay, very well written.
I struggled so much trying to figure out something to write about for this essay title and ended up picking find x instead.

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