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"FSU will prepare me for my Climax" (Vires, Artes, Mores)



noahwils 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2010   #1
Essay Prompt:
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

I am not whole. I cannot be. According to Aristotle, "a whole is what has a beginning, a middle and an end." And I, I hope, am still in the beginning.

I know that the dramatic structure of my life is being shaped in part by the mores of the background characters in my story. They subtly mold me in ways I realize, and in ways I will only become aware of in times of conflict. My family loves me and tries to instill beliefs important to them. They push me to be a strong and moral character. My friends and family constantly work to shape my personality and beliefs. I try to cement myself to people I admire and respect. Even antagonists in my story influence my character. My grandfather worked diligently to provide financial security to his extended family. After losing his father as a young man, he helped his own mother raise a family and put himself through college. My grandmother passed down family traditions that kept our family bound together and gave me comfort growing up. One of my best friends, Ronald, is a cancer survivor who donates his time to children with leukemia and has encouraged me to help others as well. Even Mrs. Gunthrie, a fith grade teacher that often sent me home in tears, taught me the value of persistence. She ultimately helped me publish my first poem in an anthology of poetry. Under the influence of all these characters, I am constantly growing, changing and improving.

I believe Artes allows me to actively drive my own storyline. I have a passion for creating narratives that tell compelling stories in new and exciting ways. The more you learn, the easier it is to make connections and engage others on all levels. These intellectual pursuits not only fulfill me, but help me to understand others. I have been on the chess team, contributed to school publications and worked on several movie projects. Most recently I worked as director on my own screenplay to produce a 5 minute short film. All of these contributions required study, creativity and dedication.

I know that Florida State University will feed my hunger for knowledge and allow me to to be creative. I can learn to resolve conflicts, overcome obstacles and reach my goals. FSU will prepare me for my Climax. FSU will make me whole.

smiths11 - / 2  
Nov 27, 2010   #2
"And I, I hope, am still in the beginning"- And, I hope, I am still in the beginning.

My loving family instills in me, beliefs important to them. They push me to be a strong and have good moral character. My friends and family constantly shape my personality and beliefs.

Even Mrs. Gunthrie, a fif th grade teacher who often sent me home in tears, taught me the value of persistence.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 11, 2010   #3
And I, I hope, am still in the beginning.---awkward but cool. Maybe you could make it less stop-and-go:
And I am still in my beginning (I hope).

Hmmm... I don't know... the parentheses arenot great either.. Your way of doing it is probably best! :-)

FSU will make me whole.---based on your analysis, this means FSY will make you end.

You should add a little more to that first para, because it is supposed to be an intro to the essay, and it actually does not introduce the main idea of the essay. There is a disconnect. If you add one good sentence to the end of the first paragraph, you can make it so that the first paragraph introduces a theme that connects the ideas of the body paragraphs to the idea expressed in the Aristotle reference.

:-)


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