let me know what you think, be brutally honest, and if you could please take a look at my other essays I will return the favor. Also I need a way to finish this one. any and all suggestions are appreciated
Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.
I had never been this excited in my entire life. It was the summer of 2008 and I was living large. My birthday, after what felt like a century of waiting, had finally come. I was awake, out of bed, and already eating breakfast by 7 a.m. One more hour and I would get my golden ticket to freedom, my driver's license. The drive to the DMV- and when I arrived, the line- was similar to that of waiting for my birthday, an eternity. When I finally heard my name crackling through the intercom, I was overcome with happiness. I jolted to the counter, and before I even had a chance to look at the camera, the curse of the driver's license photo had taken yet one more victim. I was crushed. However, the pain was short lived. As I walked out of the DMV my dad hollered "Ay hotshot, take me for a spin." Nothing in my life before this could compare to this moment. That was, undoubtedly, the highlight of my summer of 2008.
Other great moments included: having epic times going bowling, to the movies, and to the beach with my friends and family; going to garage sales every weekend with my younger sister to try and spend pennies on the dollar for the diamond in the rough, so I can turn around and sell it on eBay for ten times as much; and spending large, and possibly mentally damaging, amounts of time with my loving family.
In the summer of 2009, a similar even occurred. I got a new vehicle. Not just a regular vehicle, no way, I got a 1989 Plymouth Grand Voyager hauling van painted purple with yellow side stripes and silver sparkles. No matter how much I hated it at first, it came in handy. My father and I decided to open our very own thrift store. Every weekend when my sister and I would go garage sailing, leaving a business card at each one. By the end of the day, we were unloading the "Purple People Eater" of free, unwanted product that the garage sale owners didn't want to put away.
The majority of my summer was spent sifting through the masses of "junk" and shelving it for sale. However, I still found time to have some fun as well. Similarly to the year before I made memories at the beach, the movies, and the bowling alley with my friends and family. I decided to switch it up and try something new, clamming. My friends and I spent an entire day in the local river and must have harvested over 200 succulent clams. It was truly a day I would not forget, in a summer that I couldn't forget if I tried.
This is a really good essay! It engages the reader and I especially liked the 3rd paragraph. The only thing is, in the first paragraph, I'd spend less time talking about getting your license. An adcom will be looking for super-unique experiences (like your clamming story) rather than how you didn't get a good license picture. :)