How will opportunities at Purdue support your interests in and out of the classroom?
I have been dreaming about becoming a veterinarian since I was a child and getting a chance to study at one of the top veterinary universities in the U.S. would be a great opportunity. I have been working with both large and small animals my whole life and since the university offers so many study options I will be able to expand my knowledge in each field. Also, I will have the opportunity to join several clubs related to my major to help me gain more experience, get involved within the university and meet a lot of new people.
Lauren, by any chance, does your response have a word limit? The statement that you wrote seems a bit too short for a formal response so I am wondering if you are being asked to write a statement instead of an essay for the prompt. Please let us know because it will help us better analyze your response and give us an idea as to how you should build your answer.
With regards to your current response. It doesn't really offer much in relation to the way that Purdue can support your interests in and out of the classroom. You speak more of your exposure to animals than you do of Purdue and its veterinary program. In your response you need to connect your desire to become a vet, your particular area of interest as a potential DVM, and the course offerings or apprenticeships or research opportunities at the university. When combined, your interests in these areas are what will showcase the opportunities that Purdue offers which can support your interests in and out of the classroom.
So don't stick with this generic reading response. Dig deeper into your interests, look at the offerings of the university, create the personal interest aspect in order to develop the personal response to the prompt. That is the only way to deliver an acceptable answer to the question posed.
great opportunity
great opportunity to fulfill that dream
I think, that since your statement is so short, you should really emphasize the main points! You should repeat that veterinary work is a dream, not just a career, that's important. This makes it more personal!
in each field...
I think you should mention other specialties that you could major in, or sub-specialties. I think that the school probably offers a wide variety of topics about animals, and if you show knowledge of more of this you will impress, more!
The clubs are a good topic to mention, but you should add a concluding sentence which sums up the whole paragraph. This is standard for a paragraph. Perhaps you could even mention the dream again.
You did a good job, just a few suggestions: really emphasize the main points, and even repeat them. Be specific about what you know about the school offerings.
ef_carol
yes there is a 100 word limit this is how i reworded it...
I have been dreaming about becoming a veterinarian since I was a child and getting a chance to study at one of the top veterinary universities in the U.S. would be a great opportunity. Since Purdue's veterinary program offers a wide variety of animal types I will be able to expand my knowledge about many different animal species in the classroom as well as other hands on work outside of the classroom. Purdue has several clubs such as PEAP and the Pre-Veterinary Club to get involved with students and faculty outside the classroom for more field experience within my major.
I really appreciate the help thank you if there are any other points i can change around in a short essay like this i appreciate any tips
Lauren, this is an alright response to the prompt. However, I believe that your statement should refer to a bit more of the academic interests that you are looking to pursue as a college student. Since you grew up surrounded by animals and caring for them, why not tell Purdue which of the animal types and specific animal problems you hope that their course in (name a specific course) can help you better assess the possible complications that arise from (animal health issue) that you have come to be familiar with because of the farm exposure.
The idea is to show that you have a solid plan while at Purdue to develop yourself in a specific academic way, aside from your interest in the clubs and organizations. As for the extra curricular interests, try to give some example of how you plan to utilize the opportunity as a member of a specific club towards your further training in the veterinary field. You have chosen a unique occupation so I am more than sure that your responses will be highly creative and informative. You need to help the reviewer assess how you will become a stand out student at the university and Purdue can only do that by gaining an idea as to your unique academic and extra curricular interests.