I am putting forward my candidacy for enrollment in electrical engineering of an University

Motivation letter for applying for an University

I am interested in the undergraduate program for electrical engineering of University of XX. Here I am putting forward my candidacy for enrollment in this course.

Humans use other things to accomplish their needs. From spears to nuclear bombs, from a fire to power plants, we developed our way of living throughout the history. Today technology benefits humanity greatly, sometimes it is a factor that affects our lifestyle. And I want to be in part of that factor.

My name is Munkh-Ochir and I am from Mongolia. Last year I graduated my high school and successfully took an entrance exam for mathematics, English and physics. I am interested in electronics. The concept of creating something that is complex and useful for someone is fascinating to me.

Everything is getting automated and smart city is a target today. There are a lot of possibilities for both practical and impractical projects. And I believe well enough execution can make impractical idea into real product that helps people.

Neuralink, Elon Musk's project for translating waves of human brain into simple data bits, will open up new types of electronics. Directly using the data from human brain with high precision will affect the design of technologies and how user interface work in the future. For example controlling a skeleton suit with our mind and giving orders without even moving. Also receiving all five simulated sensors is one of humanity's fantasies. This concept of being elsewhere and experiencing something new while lying on a bed is alluring to me too.

I want to follow this path using my creativity, problem solving skills and knowledge of Electronics to create various sorts of ideas into something functional.

Studying in -X- is very appealing to me. I would be able to advance my English, get to know different cultures from all over the world, study in an esteemed university while living in safe and comparatively affordable place. But I believe there will be still walls for me to overcome, since I have never studied abroad. And I hope to learn both science of electronics and how life works in University of XX.

(thanks a lot !! any criticism is appreciated)

Don't just rely on Elon Musk and his accomplishments in the field of neural science to prove your motivation for your studies in Electrical Engineering. Instead, use that as the jump off point. Evolve from his ideas and provide your own imaginative application or hardware creation that may work well alongside Musk's work. Your motivation should be to better his inventions or create your own inventions that will be higher in applicability than Musk's. Your motivation is weak because there is no reference to the gradual development of your interest and why you have focused on the work of Musk in relation to your own ambitions.