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'Racing to Success' - Emory Essay



doctorgirl222 4 / 7  
Jan 15, 2012   #1
What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?

Racing to Success
The light flashes green and I slam my foot on the acceleration pedal without any reservations. I turn the wheel slightly so my go-kart cuts off the person slightly behind me. Every time I am at an amusement park, I cannot leave without winning a go-kart race. Go-karting provides a rush of carefree exhilaration: I am allowed to speed past and cut off everyone blocking my success in a way that would be appalling (and illegal) in the real world.

My love for go-karting reveals a lot about my attitude in life. I often feel the need to be in control of my life, and cringe when I have to plan around things that I cannot control, such as the weather. This attribute helps me to charge after what I want instead of waiting for an opportunity to be presented to me. In addition to loving life in the driver's seat, Go-karting reflects my competitive attitude. I am always challenging myself to accomplish certain goals, such as taking all AP classes, or running a faster mile at lacrosse practice. I approach life with a positive and determined attitude, much like a go-kart race, because I know the key to success is to continue chasing my aspirations with a smile until I win.

hades98 6 / 39  
Jan 15, 2012   #2
When you say "This attribute helps me to charge after what I want instead of waiting for an opportunity to be presented to me." You can try to replace charge with another word.

Add a transition in the last sentence to make it flow better.
Overall it was really good, I liked your word choice and organization.
Review my essay please?


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