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Real stories - College application essay

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Dec 31, 2021   #1

Real stories

Owing to the massive number of historical events that occurred in the past three years, I could not take a breath to acknowledge that these are my terminal years in school. Moreover, the fact that this is the twenty-first century yet man-made destruction occupies the glorious Mother Earth spreading like poison by a barbaric cobra that metamorphosed mother's mesmerizing beauty to a blood-soaked corpse murdered by her creation.

If you introspected that the poison I mentioned was at most the Coronavirus, you were mistaken. As a matter of fact, Cobras' poison is produced by various glands. Glands that secrete humans' brutality therefore induced inhumanity and rapacity towards those in need, glands that secrete humans' defacement towards nature and the blessings of God, so, he boiled it, till it bubbled then ignited fire back to harm him as if it was saying sarcastically, "karma".

Dead stop, and we repeat, glands that secrete a tent to shelter the parched, the hungry, and the cold. They, who created it, named it "human's waste". They made cry its wounded heart. I repeat and repeat, the past three years did not cut my breath in vain, glands that secrete a child all he calls for to survive is oxygen, so it's cut off him, robbing his life. I won't bore you I don't have much ink to write, but the world has stories in the past three years that didn't allow me to breathe.

Those stories are our reality. This poison is what humans secrete towards what they call home and how they treated mother nature causing incredibly serious natural resource and environmental harm such as Climate change, freshwater depletion, ocean over-fishing, deforestation, air and water pollution, the struggle to feed a planet of billions.

Those fires I mentioned occurred in Algeria, India, Russia, Turkey, France, Greece, Italy causing trauma to everyone who faced it. Those tents are homes for refugees who left their houses due to war, they weren't the cause of, yet they were to pay for, not only by facing the affliction but also the torment the society hands by calling them burdens and asking to go back to the place they once called home. That child is one of the hundreds in hospitals running out of oxygen causing an unbelievable image of death in what is supposed to be the revival paradise.

I believe everything happens for a reason, this generation experienced what no other did and those awakening experiences are what will build the future. I made a promise not to forget, rather stay, strive, ameliorate, be part of an awakening community of open-minded, innovative, well-educated leaders that appreciates and encourages every human, need along with guiding the younger to a better future through cooperation, commitment to change, using the current provision and media, together with building new facilities where everyone's voice matters and everyone's voice is heard.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,308 3991  
Jan 15, 2022   #2
The essay is trying very hard to be deep and philosphical but fails to do so due to the repetitive manner of reference and the writer's lack of proper imagination to help the essay become more symbolic in nature and pondering in presentation. The writer has proven to have a dramatic flair when it comes to creative writing but, beyond the repeated use of keywords, does not really deliver anything beyond rehashed information in every paragraph. The essay then becomes of little interest to the reader as it is incapable of holding the attention of the reader. Due to the lack of prompt presentation, I am also unable to provide more helpful advice beyond this general observation.

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