5 reasons to be a Hokie in the city of Blacksburg - Virginia Tech admission

The first time I set foot on Virginia Tech soil was when I dropped my cousin off for his freshman year. He and I both fell in love with the campus and the city of Blacksburg. Ever since he attended VT that was all he ever talked about. He wore hokie apparel every where he went and blasted 'Enter Sandman' when his phone rang. The second time I went to Tech was to drop him off for his junior year and already he was so anxious to get back. I remember walking through the campus and meeting his friends, one of which had the same ethnic background as we had. The food there was spectacular and the people there were so friendly and proud to be hokies. After I had researched Tech I had found that you had one of the best engineering departments in the country and, deservedly, were also number one in food. The diversity was also really refreshing and we got to meet so many different people and learn about their background. The sprit of Hokie pride is also seen throughout the whole campus from people wearing all sorts of Hokie clothing to people chasing down the Hokie mascot just to get a picture with him (I will admit I tried getting a picture as well). The overall sense of community the students have with each other is overwhelming as well; I would often see students paying each others' parking tolls and literally any student can walk up to another and just talk about anything.

Please feel free to comment. I am at 258 words and would like some recommendations on how to improve on this.

every where ---> everywhere
blasted 'Enter Sandman' when his phone rang ---> his phone blasted 'Enter Sandman' each time it rang.
The second time I went to Tech was to drop him off for his junior year; already he was so anxious to return.
one of which had the same ethnic background as we had (I don't understand the point of this statement. If you want to make it seem like the campus was more familiar because of this, elaborate on it more. Maybe mention cultural groups at the university or something of that sort.)

The diversity was also really refreshing and we got to meet so many different people and learn about their background.
(Move up to the part about the ethnic background.)
(Delete ; Insert . ) I would often see students paying each others' parking tolls(.) andliterally Any student can walk up to another and just talk about anything.

Hope this helps and good luck with your admissions!

Thanks for the feedback @hollykey97

@Absera, let's see if we can still do enhancement on your revised essay.

- He and IWe both fell in love...
- ...his junior year;he was already he was so anxious to getgo back.
- ...that you hadthe institution has one of the best...
- ...and learn aboutthat their backgrounds
- asis similar asto mine.
- The overall sense of community that the students...

Such a very good institution to be a part of and it's always good to see the youth to be working harmoniously with each other and continue their studies in a well preserved and conducive environment.