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"the Republican Party of Virginia" - GMU- Significant contribution to your community


sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #1
From the Presidential Election in 2008 to the present, I have spent many hours in October at the Albemarle County Republican Committee Headquarters, a local branch of the Republican Party of Virginia. I have volunteered in the election campaigns of John McCain, Bill Bolling, Ken Cuccinelli, Bob McDonnell and, most recently, Robert Hurt. My work as a volunteer consists of making telephone calls to Virginians in the fifth district, surveying them about the upcoming election, and promoting them to register and vote, particularly for Republican candidates. Usually, I begin working the first week of October and volunteer at least twice a week for two hours. As the nation has grown increasingly politically apathetic, the most significant contribution I have made to the Albemarle County community through my volunteer work has been promoting political party participation and the utilization of the right to vote. The phone calls from headquarters act to inform residents about the candidates in upcoming elections and encourage them to get involved. Volunteering at headquarters is enjoyable because it allows me to participate in politics and exercise my right to be a member of a political party while simultaneously permitting me to encourage other Virginia residents to do the same. Through experience I have learned that this volunteer work is rewarding, no matter the outcome of the election.

biggly 1 / 7  
Dec 27, 2010   #2
Hi,

Some of your sentences are very long. Try to be more concise. Some of your meaning is lost in the clutter.

To start,

Since the 2008 campaign, I've spent many October house at the Albermarle County Republican Committee Headquarters. I've volunteered in the campaigns of John McCain, Bill Bolling, Ken Cuccinelli, Bob McDonnell, and Robert Hurt. As a volunteer, I make telephone calls to Virginians in the 5th district...

Good luck!
jstorm 4 / 8  
Dec 27, 2010   #3
My work as a volunteer consists of making telephone calls to Virginians in the fifth district, surveying them about the upcoming election, and promoting - odd word choice, inviting maybe, urging?

Usually, I begin working the first week of October and volunteer at least twice a week for two hours. hmmm this is a little awkward. Maybe start with "The work begins"

As the nation has grows increasingly politically apathetic, the most significant contribution I have made to the Albemarle County community through my volunteer work has been promoting political party participation and the utilization of the right to vote.

Volunteering at headquarters is enjoyable because it allows me to participate in politics and exercise my right to be a member of a political party while simultaneously permitting me to encourage other Virginia residents to do the same. ...long sentence, break it up!

Great essay, sounds like a fun experience!
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
GMU- Significant contribution to your community

Since the Presidential Election in 2008, I have spent many October hours at the Albemarle County Republican Committee Headquarters, a local branch of the Republican Party of Virginia. I have volunteered in the campaigns of John McCain, Bill Bolling, Ken Cuccinelli, Bob McDonnell and, most recently, Robert Hurt. The work begins the first week of October, when the old bank in Albemarle Square transforms from an empty building to Republican headquarters, filling with conservative volunteers. At least twice a week for two hours at a time I do volunteer work consisting of making telephone calls to Virginians in the fifth district, surveying them about the upcoming elections, and urging them to register and vote, particularly for Republican candidates. As the nation grows increasingly politically apathetic, the most significant contribution I have made to the Albemarle County community has been promoting political party participation and the utilization of the right to vote. The phone calls from headquarters act to inform residents about the candidates in upcoming elections and encourage them to get involved. Volunteering at headquarters is enjoyable because it allows me to participate in politics and exercise my right to be a member of a political party while simultaneously encouraging other Virginia residents to do the same. Through experience I have learned that this volunteer work is rewarding, no matter the outcome of the election.
atham64 4 / 12  
Dec 27, 2010   #5
maybe you should say how it affects your life and what specific knowledge you gain from it.


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