Prompt : Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)
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New York City.
Being from a small city in a developing country, resource limitation has always been a problem for me. I had to self-train my debate team because there's no hire-able coach. I and my peers had to find private sponsors to conduct activities. I had to self-train for science olympiads as there was no hire-able expert; with only 4 months to learn everything from zero, it took me hard effort to go to the National Science Olympiad in Informatics.
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"My peers and I"
"There are no proper lab..."
- Really go over your essay to check for tense agreements, pronoun-antecedent agreements.
- One tip I would give you: Your intro discusses the lack of intellectual opportunities in your small town in Indo. When you transition to say that Columbia has a wealth of opportunities, briefly highlight the social and communal opportunities then really go specific. The prompt asks you why you want to attend Columbia. New York City may be a huge part, but an institution is so much more than its location. You talk about research: try to include a specific program Columbia offers to.
GOOD LUCK!! What city are you in? I'm assuming its not Jkt?
Surely I'm not from Jkt :D
I'm from Madiun, East Java.
It is nice, and it shows that you really want to experience New York, but that is also the issue. You talk much more about New York rather than the school. You begin to mention the things Columbia has to offer, but then you sort of blindside the ready by talking more about New York. It is fine to mention it, but remember what school you are applying to.
You do have a lot of things you seem to be interested. Avoid just listing them. Create a little bit more of a story. :)
how about this?
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New York City.
Being from a small city in a developing country, resource limitation has always been a problem for me. I had to self-train my debate team because there was no hire-able coach. My peers and I had to find private sponsors to conduct activities. I had to self-train for science olympiads as there was no hire-able expert; with only 4 months to learn everything from zero, it took me hard effort to go to the National Science Olympiad in Informatics.
My school has limited resources as well: there are no proper laboratory, library, and fields - we have to rent a nearby warehouse for parking and use nearby military's sports field to exercise. Simply put, we have to strive more than people from bigger cities to gain the same result. For students from my school, behind every victories and accomplishments, there were sleepless nights, sunday workings... and multiple failures, as we went on trial-and-error basis.
The vast resources in NYC and Columbia lures me; I won't find any problem in finding resources. There are several labs and centers in Columbia that interest me, such as Center for Computational Learning Systems and Computational Optimization Research Center. Besides having a chance to conduct researches with world-class faculty and facility in Columbia University, I can also practice the knowledge I gained directly to the real world, since NYC has place for almost every imaginable field. The very diverse, multicultural community of Columbia University and NYC will give additional points of view to take approach from and ensure that my future discoveries and inventions will not contradict certain values, which will prevent them to be applied to the real world.
There are few other world-class universities, but only Columbia University has the advantages of New York City.
MUCH better. Good luck!
I don't think that talking about New York city is a good idea for two reasons. The first is that many people will start writing about how they like New Yorkn how precious are the opportunities there and how diverse is that city. This way your essay will be like the essays of 50% of the other applicants. Besides, there is more than 300 universities in New York state so choosing Columbia because it is located in NY won't be a good reason to convince the admission comittee. The same essay can work for New York University, right?
New York City.
I had to self-train my debate team by finding private sponsors to conduct activities because there was no hire-able coach. My peers and I had to find private sponsors to conduct activities . Also, I trained myself for Science Olympiads I had to self-train for science olympiads as there was no hire-able expert; with only 4 months to learn everything from zero...
My school has limited resources as well: there are no proper laboratory, library, and fields - we(Who is we?- the school) have to rent a nearby warehouse for parking and use nearby military's sports field to exercise. Simply put, we have to strive moreharder than people from bigger cities to gain the same result. For students from my school, behind every victoryies and accomplishments, there was sleepless nights, sunday workings...
Hope this helps a little with the sentence structure. Good essay overall. Can you check out my NY essay?
