Why Rice "because there are so many on my side"

post: What motivated you to choose Rice?

Clock ticked. I caught the ball, and managed to drive through the traffic to the basket, suddenly I turned to get enough room, and then I launched an off-balance fling. Oh, I've made it!

I love that effort, passion, and feeling of success after helping my team win. My motivation came from not the champion, but the pat on my back, the trust when my teammate passed me the ball, and the deafening cheers of fans.

At Rice, thanks to the Residential Colleges, I can always find supportive and collaborative teammates in various games of life. By participating in student government and innovative college-designed courses, we can use our energy to motivate others, and our unique experiences to enrich others' lives.

What's more, professors are willing to help and invite students into the innovating process. Many of the faculties are superstars, but they can pass the ball to undergraduates, the rookies. I will take full advantage of the opportunities. I want to research on the remarkable properties of nano particles and fullerene nanotubes to develop supercaciptors and strong fibers. I also want to manipulate the wet/ dry surface of nanomaterials to create soluble nanomaterials.

Also, there are so many who need me and expect me to win. By joining the Engineers Without Borders, I can improve the quality of life for the needed by using my knowledge in nanotech to create low-cost solar panels and materials that can purify water.

At Rice, my friends, professors and those who need me are always on my side, encouraging me to nail the winning shot.

feedback or comments welcomed! Thank you !

this is a very good analogy to address such a common question with. genius.
Overall, a very intelligent answer.
Good job!

I think "The" would be alright here:
The clock ticked.

You could even use plural:
Clocks ticked.

Many of the faculties faculty members are superstars, but they can pass ...

I want to research on the remarkable properties of nano particles and fullerene nanotubes ... also want to manipulate the wet/ dry surface of nanomaterials to create soluble nanomaterials.----give another sentence or two at the end of this paragraph to tell about the result you can achieve in this area of research. What can you accomplish?

That conclusion is very brief and superficial. I think you should use it as an opportunity to give the reader a glimpse of the future you envision. What problems might you help to solve through your work?

:-)

From just an approximation, I thought that this essay was way too long for the Why Rice essay. I'm also writing this essay, and I know that it has to be limited to 200 words. But other than that, I would say that I really like the analogy in this essay... it really makes me jealous :) In addition, the specifics you included such as your possible goals/products of education are great also!