Rock music; the freedom to be yourself/ COLUMBIA App/ Meaningful cutural event

Hey! This is just a first draft and I can add another 400 characters if needed. Suggestions?

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events.

Darkness. My eyes strained to discern what appeared to be the silhouette of a man towards the back of the stage. My entire being filled with nervous excitement. The figure strode forward, slowly taking form. The crowd, so far lulled into hushed excitement, began losing composure. A bright spotlight penetrated through the dark, revealing a face I knew so well through countless YouTube videos. Axl Rose. I was at my first ever rock concert- Guns N Roses!

To me, the rock genre is about more than just music. It is an art form, an ideology, a belief system. Back in the 80s, rock music was said to represent freedom of expression; the freedom to be yourself. These rock bands brought together all sorts of people, each one unique in their own little way, each one their own different person. I have been listening to rock music religiously for the last few years and my first rock concert has made me an integral part of this community; a community of people with a common belief. We believe that you don't need to change who you are to fit and and rock concerts are a perfect illustration of that.

This is good, I like the way you describe the concert, and I think that you could add more to that description that would tie-in to your explanation of its meaningfulness. Through the band's music, so many people unite and come together just for their love of the music. They have their own unique interpretations of the lyrics, they have their own way of dancing, each person is so different but so alike the person sitting next to them. I totally understand and can relate to what you are saying. I think that you can elaborate further on the idea of how the concert made you see people this way. I'd select one more point to make on the topic being meaningful, the essay definitely could be improved by lengthening it. Good luck in school :)