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"Miss HANNNNMMAAHH!" This is the greeting I am met with on Thursday afternoons when I go visit Gracie, a beautiful chubby 4-year-old girl that I get the pleasure to nanny every week. Gracie is mildly autistic; meaning life isn't as carefree and easy for her as any other child her age. One thing, however, that she loves and that we do every week is gardening. Rain or shine, freezing or sweltering, we go in the backyard and tend to her flowers. All her frustrations and difficulties with her autism melt away and disappear as soon as we step onto that little plot of land. Half the flowers are drooping and the carrots we tried to plant last year failed miserably. It's not much to others, but for us, it's our own little piece of happiness where we can escape all the trouble of the world, the both of us.
A few weeks ago, as I playfully wheel barrowed Gracie from the garden back to the house, like I always do, the rut that had formed caught my eye. As I stared into the thin, long tunnel that I had created with the wheelbarrow over time, an epiphany hit me like a freight train. I quickly took Gracie inside and set her up with a snack to keep her busy and went to the porch to ponder life.
As I sipped on sweet iced tea and rocked back and forth, I realized that my life embodied that rut. Because I had grown up, graduated high school, and was even attending college in the same town that I had known since 3rd grade, my life had fallen into this clichĂŠd rut. Honestly, I had never minded the rut because I thought I was happy. Staying close to home, I was never homesick, never got lost, knew all the back roads, shortcuts, best restaurants, and hangouts, and most of all, it was easy. I began to see my unhappiness wasn't rooted in the surface level drama triggered by surface level issues. It was rooted instead in my growing indifference. Helen Keller once said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." I recognized the lack of challenges and curveballs thrown at me in my current situation, and simultaneously, I felt the hole in my life that wanted to be filled with daring adventures and wasn't. The first word that popped into my head when I started to think about my life was "comfortable." I felt like a 60-year-old woman whose weekly highlights was Bingo and Meatloaf Mondays. Everywhere I turn, people are telling me that college will be the best time of my life, and I want that. I want a college experience that nurtures my interests and encourages my passions. I want diversity, culture, and new experiences. I want uncomfortable, I want challenge, and most of all, I want new adventure outside of my comfort zone "rut".
"Miss HANNNNMMAAHH!" This is the greeting I am met with on Thursday afternoons when I go visit Gracie, a beautiful chubby 4-year-old girl that I get the pleasure to nanny every week. Gracie is mildly autistic; meaning life isn't as carefree and easy for her as any other child her age. One thing, however, that she loves and that we do every week is gardening. Rain or shine, freezing or sweltering, we go in the backyard and tend to her flowers. All her frustrations and difficulties with her autism melt away and disappear as soon as we step onto that little plot of land. Half the flowers are drooping and the carrots we tried to plant last year failed miserably. It's not much to others, but for us, it's our own little piece of happiness where we can escape all the trouble of the world, the both of us.
A few weeks ago, as I playfully wheel barrowed Gracie from the garden back to the house, like I always do, the rut that had formed caught my eye. As I stared into the thin, long tunnel that I had created with the wheelbarrow over time, an epiphany hit me like a freight train. I quickly took Gracie inside and set her up with a snack to keep her busy and went to the porch to ponder life.
As I sipped on sweet iced tea and rocked back and forth, I realized that my life embodied that rut. Because I had grown up, graduated high school, and was even attending college in the same town that I had known since 3rd grade, my life had fallen into this clichĂŠd rut. Honestly, I had never minded the rut because I thought I was happy. Staying close to home, I was never homesick, never got lost, knew all the back roads, shortcuts, best restaurants, and hangouts, and most of all, it was easy. I began to see my unhappiness wasn't rooted in the surface level drama triggered by surface level issues. It was rooted instead in my growing indifference. Helen Keller once said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." I recognized the lack of challenges and curveballs thrown at me in my current situation, and simultaneously, I felt the hole in my life that wanted to be filled with daring adventures and wasn't. The first word that popped into my head when I started to think about my life was "comfortable." I felt like a 60-year-old woman whose weekly highlights was Bingo and Meatloaf Mondays. Everywhere I turn, people are telling me that college will be the best time of my life, and I want that. I want a college experience that nurtures my interests and encourages my passions. I want diversity, culture, and new experiences. I want uncomfortable, I want challenge, and most of all, I want new adventure outside of my comfort zone "rut".