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Rutgers Transfer Recommended Acceptance Essay



LindaFerraz 1 / -  
May 11, 2014   #1
Recommended Personal Essay: Please use the space below to tell us how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals. (3800 max characters.)

I am a college student looking to transfer to Rutgers University. I have developed this acceptance essay, but am not entirely sure if I am done. Would like some help regarding grammatical errors, as well as an opinion as to whether this is decent or if I should add more. Considering that my essay is only 520 words and the max is 3800 characters, I am not sure if it is enough.. Thank you so much!! Your help will be highly appreciated.

I have always wanted to attend Rutgers University ever since I was young because of its reputation. As I matured, I realized there are more important factors in determining the college I would like to attend, and its reputation isn't necessarily the most important. As I discovered that not every college has all majors, I hoped that Rutgers would. Not only does Rutgers offer a major in Biology-Premed and mechanical engineering but I'm also allowed to double major. It also has a Greek system, which I have always wanted to partake in. I am certain that a Rutgers education will help me accomplish all my career goals as well as help me mature into a professional in all the fields that I have planned to major on.

I am the first generation in my immigrant family to ever attend college. My mother brought me along with her from Portugal when I was seven years old in hope to live a better life. I want to have the opportunity to honor both my family and Rutgers with my success. Being that my mother is a very hardworking woman, she is never around to acknowledge my efforts, but when I graduate Rutgers University I am sure she will be full of pride of how much I will have accomplished.

A Rutgers education will allow me to attain my personal and professional goals through a high quality education recognized worldwide. A higher education is very valuable to me because I believe it will build a bridge to the person that I dream of becoming. Also, knowing the history of this university, Rutgers will give me nationally-respected credentials which will open many doors for me in an economy where it is so difficult to find a respectable job. I intend to get the most out of a Rutgers education, gaining knowledge and exploiting it as much as I can into which will contribute towards my future career in Psychiatry and Mechanical Engineering.

I chose Rutgers as my first choice because it has all the possible majors into which I would like to pursue a career in. It is also one of the top colleges in New Jersey due to its leadership, nationally recognized faculty, in addition to its diverse state, which I feel connected to because I am an immigrant as several other students who came here to accomplish their dreams through hard work and ambition. Rutgers also pays attention to many different practices which I would love to explore and offers the positions of internships in high-end organizations, which absolutely contributes to the development of graduates' proficiency in their professional career in the future.

The opportunity that a diverse faculty and student body will give me, as well as the reputation Rutgers has in education is far too good of an opportunity to pass up. I have a few friends at Rutgers who all speak highly of their school and how staff are very helpful, supportive, and guiding. I look forward to being a part of such a highly recognized university with everything I need to become the person I yearn to be.

dumi 1 / 6793  
May 11, 2014   #2
I have always wanted to attend Rutgers University ever since I was young because of its reputation. As I matured, I realized there are more important factors in determining the college I would like to attend, and its reputation isn't necessarily the most important.

Well, this part is not actually contributing much to your case. Had you chose a uni which is not so great with its reputation, then these ideas add some meaning to your essay. For me, I don'f find the above sentences adding much value to your essay.

I amrepresent the first generation in my immigrant family to ever attend college.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
May 11, 2014   #3
A Rutgers education will allow me to attain my personal and professional goals through a high quality education recognized worldwide. A higher education is very valuable to me because I believe it will build a bridge to the person that I dream of becoming.the my desired career path with what I actually study now.

I think you need to have a more focus on you in your writing. Avoid talking about known general stuff. Give them a chance to know you better through your writing :)
collegewoman 2 / 2  
May 11, 2014   #4
you could also possibly include why Rutgers will help you pursue your career goals compared to your previous college.


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