Hi, this is for SAIC Personal Statement. I think I need a solid conclusion.. but I don't know how.. and is the introduction too.. aggressive? Please Help! Thank you :D
Your statement of purpose helps us find out more about your personal vision; Please tell us what your work is about.
My works are about the relationships between a mother and a child based on my own.
I hate my mom. My mom who gave me birth, suffered from my father's financial problem, and brought me and my other two siblings to this country with no money. She made me smile but also made me cry. She always stood behind me, loved me and supported me, but she also abused me with her hysteric mind.
Nevertheless, no matter how much I loathe her, she is my world. My body came out from her; I learned everything from her. It is a revolting truth that she is my mother, I am her daughter and we love each other. My world was built by her and still revolves around her. My mom forced me to move to a totally new world and reformed my life style into an insecure chaos, where I often found myself feeling trapped. However, she sacrificed herself to guide me into another world where I was able to find my dream of becoming an artist.
I want to show people how I think about my world through drawing, painting, sculpting, or creating an imaginary world. However, I don't want to stay in a comfort zone. Most of my works are based on the realistic figures, but I want to step out of that criteria and learn any new type of art that impact me: abstract, installation, fashion, film. I feel that most institutes' requirements to specialize in a "major" actually confine the mind and prevent it from truly grasping art as a concept. There are no boundaries for art; hence, I dream to become an artist who thinks outside the box and constantly innovates. I know that by attending SAIC, one of the nation's top schools, I will learn about every aspect of art with a faculty who inspires and interacts with the students: a group of mentors who can understand my artistic and mental capacities.
However, to accomplish my dream, there is one problem; I can't afford to attend an art school. As an international student, I need twice much as money to attain further education and make my living. The fact that I cannot even dream of attending an art school is devastating. I hope you will consider my financial problems - any form of scholarship will help me greatly to continue my education.
Hi, what you wrote is all good, but you need to choose carefully what to include in this statement of purpose. Three thoughts are here: Hate my mom, want to show the world through art, and financial difficulty.
In order to make a powerful essay, you need to INTEGRATE them:
I hope to win support in the form of scholarships, because this will enable me to achieve what has seemed impossible. Financial difficulties and unhealthy relationships have thwarted me in my aspirations, but...
When you determine the central truth of the essay, you will come up with a great conclusion.
Good luck!!
Kevin
