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School's name - Rice supplement - what motivated to you to apply?



almacubana 5 / 19  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words.

What first attracted me to this school was its name, "Rice". Two years ago, I had been completely unaware of Rice University. While my friend, Rachael, and I were researching for a business project on the agricultural system, I randomly clicked on a link that guided me to its website. As I browsed, I read about the abundant undergraduate, future-oriented research possibilities with world-class professors, the opportunities of studying abroad, and the chance of interacting with a nationally and internationally diverse student body. Although these are some of the most interesting aspects of Rice, what appeals to me the most is that Rice is right here in Houston, a few minutes away from home. I am finally comfortable in this city; unlike some of my friends, I do not want to leave home to go to college. Rice presents me with the opportunity of staying and still getting top-notch education. I immediately considered the institution as one of my top schools.

I want a rigorous course of study, one that will stimulate my way of thinking and will push my limits. I need heated and insightful classroom discussions that will improve my higher level thinking skills. I crave to rack my brain searching for answers until I can come up with innovative ways of solving questions. Because of small-sized classes and close contact with teachers, I know I can find that at Rice. I like that at Rice, I can double major even if my second choice is not in the same school of study, while taking other classes that spark my interest. Furthermore, picturing myself attending a school that is not only architecturally beautiful, but has small five-to-one student to faculty ratio, made Rice even more attractive. Rice's residential colleges and different approach on undergraduate studies will allow me to have the education and American college experience I seek.

WORD COUNT: 170

Please help me with the grammar and sentence structure. By the latter I mean tell me if i have run-on sentences that are best separated...

Does it flow? Does it sound generic?

sanmateoazn 1 / 4  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
I had randomly clicked on a link that guided me to its website. I immediately considered the institution as one of my top schools.
-It would be good if you had a sentence in the middle to explain WHY you suddenly fell in love with Rice.

Return the favor:
skyworthy 3 / 17  
Jan 2, 2010   #3
"Rice".

University, and while my friend Rachael and I were

doesn't this sound like Rachel and I are my friends?

"Two years ago, I was completely unaware of Rice University, and while my friend Rachael and I were researching information for a business project on the agricultural system, I had randomly clicked on a link that guided me to its website."

extremely long sentence. Break'em apart. Don't use commas

I think "had" shouldn't be in there

Because my high school's IB program has the most rigorous course of study, I am used to high quality education

you are going there because the course is familiar? "I am familiar with the high quality study"? this doesn't sound too modest.

to faculty ratio right here in Houston made Rice even more attractive

do u want to assume that they know where you are living?

"makes?" itsn't it still beautiful? still attractive?

how does: A Rice education will allow me to become a well prepared citizen of an ever changing world.

connect to the whole essay?

please rip mine up!
ddragonx34 7 / 21  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
leave home like most of my friends. (home clarifies that you're talking about college location)

The essay has been solidified a lot. It's about ready.
ebby2010 10 / 51  
Jan 2, 2010   #5
An education in Rice, with

I think "an education at/from Rice" would sound better.

other than that, good essay!
i hope you get in! (i'm applying there too)
OP almacubana 5 / 19  
Jan 2, 2010   #6
should it be:
Two years ago, I washad been completely unaware of Rice University?


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