Science Research -- Common App Activity

Can you guys help read over my common app activities essay and offer some suggestions?

Prompt: Describe one of your activities (150 words limit)

I chose mine on science research

I wanted to comprehend the world around me more since I was a child. Because of this, I joined my school's science research program - which gives me the opportunity to come up with a scientific question and design an experiment to answer it - during my junior year. However, before I started, I had to read over the research manual and some background material, such as articles and scientific journals, to understand the basic principles behind research and to come up with a topic. Finally, I decided on my topic: to investigate the relationship between certain bacteria and plant growth. Throughout the research, I adhered strictly to the scientific principles and was awarded 3rd place at the PVP Science and Engineering Fair for my effort, even though part of my hypothesis was invalidated. From this experience, I became more dedicated and committed. I also learned to be more accepting of failure.

Any suggestions is appreciated. Thanks!

Hi,

which givesgave me the opportunity to come up with a scientific question and design an experiment to answer it - during my junior year.

For your first sentence, I suggest the following ( This is only a suggestion and your's is not grammatically incorrect);

Since my childhood, I had a great curiousity to understand the world around me.

Also,
....which gives me the opportunity to come up with a scientific question and design an experiment to answer it

I suggest;
.... which gave me the opportunity to identify a problem associated with science and conduct a research to find the solutions for this problem.

Haha I knew you were from Palos Verdes after your second sentence - it is a very unique program.

With that being said... you should not compromise your essay by saying things like "even though part of my hypothesis was invalidated" or "I adhered strictly to the scientific principles". Remember... the best discoveries came from unorthodox procedures!