Hi guys, I was wondering if you could critique my transfer essay for the common app, with the prompt: "Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." I think I may have been to critical of my school but let me know what you think! Thanks in advance!
Personal Essay
Aside from things like 33554432, one of the more memorable powers of 2 to which I would mentally calculate on the early-morning drives to school, I, until recently, had only a general idea of the field in which I wished to enter. I therefore decided applied to a small liberal arts college, [My_School], hoping to nurture some hidden interest into full bloom. I took courses ranging from physics to chemistry and even to literature, but it was not until the [My_School] faculty began a search for a new visiting math professor did I find what I was looking for. Each candidate professor gave a lecture on the topic of their choice, and after accidentally attending -by walking into the wrong classroom - a lecture about Diophantine approximations and their possible applications in computing, I became like a child taunted with candy: I insatiably thirsted for more. I went to the rest of the subsequent lectures, finding a particular interest in the lecture about stochastic processes and their uses in financial mathematics, an area I would now like to pursue.
Unfortunately, however, looking at the course guide and catalogue made me reevaluate my plan for education, as I learned that some of the math courses required for the major are offered every one or two years, and, like for many small colleges, there is not a sufficient number of opportunities to specialize. As an example, many courses that I am particularly interested in taking, such as stochastic calculus or game theory are not offered due to an insufficient student demand. Although I truly enjoy the student-professor relationship and the academic intensity that is the core of the [My_School] program, and although I am aware that there are tutorial-style courses available, I feel as though my academic interests, being very specialized in nature, e.g., math with a concentration in finance or operations research, would be best accommodated by transferring to a larger institution.
On a less academic note, I enjoy the intimacy of the [My_School] campus, whether it is being able to engage with professors one on one, or whether it is the ability to have intellectual debates about current affairs, but I also believe that diversity is an integral part of learning, and it is often hard for such a community of less than 500 to offer it. When having debates, for instance, I would like to be able to not only talk about, say, the master slave dialectic, rather I want to have a more comprehensive social outlook, like being able to also talk about, say, gene therapy, or maybe something as simple as who your favorite soccer team is. In a different way, diversity also affects different types of people with whom you have debates, and on a small campus, it is easy to feel like the odd-man-out even when supporting mainstream ideas with solid evidence.
Having considered the implications of my decision thoroughly, as well as having pursued other paths, such as inquiring about tutorial courses, I have come to the conclusion that a transfer is the best way to adequately fit my needs academically and socially.
I therefore decided to apply to a small liberal arts college, [My_School], hoping to nurture some hidden interest into full bloom.---I like the way you put this!
... major are offered every one or two years, and, like with many small colleges, there is not a sufficient number of opportunities to specialize.
I don't think you were too critical of your school at all, rather telling how you had come to 'outgrow it', so to speak. You should not be limited by what they did or did not offer there, and a transfer make logical sense. Good luck with school!
:)
