all about my self (dream about being a call-center agent)

My name is Bessie Montemayor,I was born on November 17,1988 in the city of julian felife caloocan. I am the daughter of Mr and Mrs Montemayor and i' am the youngest of my seven sister and four brothers . My father died wen i was seven years old but I am thankful to god that he gave me a best mother who carrying me and my other siblings on her own .even though that i have a big family my mother not give up to carrying with us .My hobby is playing baking life in FB and sometimes cafe world, im thankful to my sis cos she always allow me to use her laptop even if our current bill so high.I am happy on my life now but i want to pursue my self ta achive my dream to become a call center agent ....I am enthusiastic to learn how to speak english very well ,that's why i always sign up wen i saw the site of how to learn english languge...

Hi Bessie,

I have made some corrections with respect to your essay. You really need to pay attention to the names of places, as they require capital letters. You should also make sure that you capitalize the "I's" in your sentences. The other errors can be seen below. Your essay was short, but I think that you can understand what I am referring to in the response to you.

Mark :)

My name is Bessie Montemayor,I was born on November 17,1988 in the city of julian felife caloocanJulian Felife Caloocan . I am the daughter of Mr and Mrs Montemayor and i' am the youngest of my seven sister and four brothers .I am the youngest of my siblings.

My father died wen when iI was seven years old, but I am thankful to godGod that heHe gave me athe best mother who carrying me and my other siblings on her own . .

even though thatiI have a big family, my mother not give up to carrying with ushas not given up caring for us.

imI'm thankful to my sistercosbecause she always allows me to use her laptop even if our current bill so highbill is too high.

Here is one more correction... use periods like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Montemayor ...

I am enthusiastic about learning how to speak English very well, and that's why I always sign up wen I saw the site about how to learn the English languge.

Good! I'm glad you signed up for this site!
:-)