Hi, I just did my essay 1 quickly. I need your help to know whether I have mistaken
and if the sentences are appropriate.
Your help will be very much appreciated! :)
To be exact 5 years and a month ago, the second stage of my life got started as I left from my country to Malaysia. Though I had to abandon my family, many of my loved friends and everything, I was too agog to study abroad in English. We study English hard in South Korea because it is one of the most important subjects, but I was not satisfied with that but eager to master English in a country where English is being used. Sometimes I find myself so brave to face challenges and overcome them, so I was in deciding to come to Malaysia. It may sound weird that my parents and I decided Malaysia other than United States for studying English, but this was because we had heard that Malaysia had good environment and many international schools.
I was 16 years old, slightly late to master a foreign language but still immature to be alone. As a result of having lived far apart from family for several years and missed my country badly, I came to suffer from a devastating disease-loneliness. So I became much dependent on my friends, neighbors and church people, but I couldn't avoid problems and conflicts with them, which made life more difficult for me. It only taught me that no one could keep beside me, fully understanding me. It let me realize that no one was actually there to listen to me, ironically, though I had many human relations. I have been brought to the painful truth that nobody can fully take others as they are, because people are very much different in terms of their thinking way, mentality, interpretation and attitudes.
To be frank, I was quite hurt to realize that. During the last five years that I have struggled, I have come to a conclusion that I shall be the one who listens to others. I remember how difficult times I had when I was alone, failed to find any shelter, anyone who understood me. In those times, what really consoled me was a voice from adversity, which told me to dedicate my life to listen to others who might be suffering as I once was. I could feel much easier and relaxed when I realized my life is for others and not myself.
I set my value on life for others, which can be compared to "Blue Ocean" where not many people know about, have tried to go before, and even find it worth to go. I want to listen to others, understand them and do my best to take them as they are. This is why I decided my major as Psychology and to study Clinical Psychology.
and if the sentences are appropriate.
Your help will be very much appreciated! :)
To be exact 5 years and a month ago, the second stage of my life got started as I left from my country to Malaysia. Though I had to abandon my family, many of my loved friends and everything, I was too agog to study abroad in English. We study English hard in South Korea because it is one of the most important subjects, but I was not satisfied with that but eager to master English in a country where English is being used. Sometimes I find myself so brave to face challenges and overcome them, so I was in deciding to come to Malaysia. It may sound weird that my parents and I decided Malaysia other than United States for studying English, but this was because we had heard that Malaysia had good environment and many international schools.
I was 16 years old, slightly late to master a foreign language but still immature to be alone. As a result of having lived far apart from family for several years and missed my country badly, I came to suffer from a devastating disease-loneliness. So I became much dependent on my friends, neighbors and church people, but I couldn't avoid problems and conflicts with them, which made life more difficult for me. It only taught me that no one could keep beside me, fully understanding me. It let me realize that no one was actually there to listen to me, ironically, though I had many human relations. I have been brought to the painful truth that nobody can fully take others as they are, because people are very much different in terms of their thinking way, mentality, interpretation and attitudes.
To be frank, I was quite hurt to realize that. During the last five years that I have struggled, I have come to a conclusion that I shall be the one who listens to others. I remember how difficult times I had when I was alone, failed to find any shelter, anyone who understood me. In those times, what really consoled me was a voice from adversity, which told me to dedicate my life to listen to others who might be suffering as I once was. I could feel much easier and relaxed when I realized my life is for others and not myself.
I set my value on life for others, which can be compared to "Blue Ocean" where not many people know about, have tried to go before, and even find it worth to go. I want to listen to others, understand them and do my best to take them as they are. This is why I decided my major as Psychology and to study Clinical Psychology.
