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Significant Challenge (MIT Essay): The Autism Pursuit



yosh503037 12 / 22  
Sep 13, 2013   #1
Please give any feedback you may have, negative or positive, about the essay! If you want for me to read over your essays, please, just let me know, and I will be on it. Thanks!

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(200-250 words)

In 2007, UCSF's Dr. Merzenich presented a study to the National Academy of Science that strongly linked rising rates of autism to the transferal of environmental toxins from older mothers to their children through breastfeeding. The study was not distributed widely. Research did not advance beyond non-human subjects. As Merzenich explained, the medical and cultural implications of the study made its furtherance, at best, "presumptuous." The work I did related to early autism detection met similar cultural pressures, applied by certain sectors of the electorate who feared potential prenatal family choices.

I was stunned. In my eyes, children and families were suffering, some prevention or mitigation was possible, but nothing could be done because the issues were "complicated." I may have actually felt lost...Then, I thought of the fortunate place from which I come, and I realized that the answer was obvious. I had a responsibility, presumptuous as it may be, to respect something more than myself.

I, and all those aspiring to be MIT alum, have been given the gift, the responsibility, and the awesome power of choice. With that gift came the responsibility to do more, to set higher goals, to work to cure, prevent, innovate, and change the way 8 billion people live. For, to me, that is a life filled every day with joy, that is a life that could not be more satisfying, that is a life honoring what I have been given...more than anyone could possibly deserve.

sohailuv 2 / 2  
Sep 18, 2013   #2
you're doing well on this
it is a good essay
good luck
lortero - / 1  
Sep 21, 2013   #3
Its a great essay, but i don't feel like you answered the prompt. It asks about a challenge and how you overcame it? you speak about a project that you did and how it faced difficulties, but i feel the reader would have trouble identifying it as a challenge. Try to make it sound more like a story, with a plot, a protagonist and a result. The grammar is good. and you should talk a little more about yourself. great essay, i'm sure you could also use this as it is for something else


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