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"size, location, reputation, and the weather and the inside" Emory a college for you?


MaryTran93 3 / 2  
Jan 30, 2011   #1
Many students decide to apply to Emory College based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons for making Emory College a possible college choice, why is Emory College a particularly good match for you?

Emory College offers so much more beyond the reasons why many students decide to apply. Besides the institute's size, location, reputation, and the weather, my reasons lie inside of Emory University.

Emory gives their student the opportunity to travel to different...

Please give me some feedback and any suggestions. Thank you =]
aona105 7 / 38  
Jan 30, 2011   #2
"You do not have to study language for a chance to travel other parts of the country, you can study anything. Emory allows you to.."

You use the word "you" as a Subject, I guess you may want to avoid that in this situation. The readers are Admission Officers, right? It sounds like you are telling them what actually Emory is, not what you think why Emory is a college for you.

I think you can say like this, "Emory allows me to~~~" or "Its xxx programs enable me to ~~~" that way, they (AO) can imagine more vividly how you think and what kind of person you are.

The content is great, I think. You just need to change the way you express the ideas. Though these are all my personal opinions.
Hope this helps :)
Good luck for both of us!!!
student101 - / 4  
Jan 30, 2011   #3
i think you should be more specific about type of health care major you want to do.

Also rather than saying trying different food....try to say some other cool stuff you can learn there. such as challenges many developing nations are facing.
OP MaryTran93 3 / 2  
Jan 30, 2011   #4
Emory gives their student the opportunity to travel to different countries and study aboard. Majoring in language is not required for a chance to explore other parts of the country. Emory gives me the freedom to study anything in any major, such as healthcare, art anthropology, and much more. I favorite these opportunities because I can learn about the challenges many developing nations are facing and different cultures and traditions.

Nevertheless, when I take action on what I learn, my ability to remember my studies will enhance.Emory will allow me to perform hands-on experience. It is called Theory-Practice Learning and Engaged Learning. This is where I can use my knowledge to help others in Atlanta or even people from other countries. Because I have interest in Emory's healthcare majors, Emory's Institute for Developing Nations are one of the reasons why I prefer Emory. This organization allows a student like me to contribute to worldwide studies and development in health related areas.


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