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The sky flamed like an overripe mango; vivid reds and oranges spilling into the horizon.



singah 1 / -  
Oct 30, 2014   #1
Prompt: We often hear the phrase 'the good life'. In fact, the University of Florida's common course required of all undergraduate students is titled "What is the Good Life?". The concept of 'the good life' can be interpreted in many different ways depending upon the experiences, values and aspirations of each individual. In a concise narrative, describe your notion of 'the good life'. How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live 'the good life'?

The sky flamed like an overripe mango; vivid reds and oranges spilling into the horizon. The clouds catch on fire with the sunrise colors and I'm afraid I'll catch on fire too. I'm 65 years old, sitting on a tree hammock staring at the waves lapping the sand, thinking about how I've spent my life. If you had asked me what 'the good life' meant to me a year ago compared to today, my answers would be drastically different. A year ago I would have synonymized a good life with lots of money, but today I would say that some people are so poor that all they have is money. A good life would constitute a mentally and spiritually balanced lifestyle where I have a placid, caring disposition with meaningful and healthy relationships with others. I don't want to be 65 years old looking back on my life, wishing I could have done something differently.

I may not see it today, but I want to be able to look back at my life in a few years and be perplexed by how every small mistake or blessing added up and brought me somewhere amazing- or where I always wanted to be. My goals and desires are always changing, and the things I want right now may not be necessarily what I need in the future, which is why it's important for me to be okay with wherever I am in life; as long as I'm constantly working to improve my situation. A life where the only person I'm comparing myself to is me from the past in order to improve my situation and sense of peace is ideal. Comparing myself to others will just feed my shame and fuel my feeling of inadequacy, keeping me anchored down.

Going to the University of Florida for my undergraduate experience would help me live a good life by enriching it with new experiences that I can't have here in Colorado. Trying new things is always a necessity for a good life because new approaches to the same solutions open your mind and broadens your comfort zone. UF is far from home, which forces me to live independently and adjust to a different environment in order to do well in school. Building independence is part of having a good life because it allows you to lean on yourself the whole time so that the times you do lean on others, you won't come crashing down. Eventually I will most likely get a job across the country, or maybe even internationally, so studying far from home is a good start for independence.

shannonnmm 2 / 4  
Oct 30, 2014   #2
I really like your take on this prompt! I think you do a really good job of answering the prompt, but also tying it back to your personal beliefs and values. The only thing I would suggest is making it more clear/smooth that you don't want to be a 65 year old regretting your life decisions, rather than actually being a 65 year old (unless I'm the only one who's confused).
vangiespen - / 4077  
Oct 30, 2014   #3
Sarah, I agree with Shannon in this case. You just need to revise the introduction to the paragraph. I know that you were batting for creativity in that part but it really backfired and made the reader think you are currently 65 years old. I would rephrase it in this manner; " I will be 65 years old in the future, surrounded by a sky flamed like an over ripe Mango, vivid red and oranges spilling into the horizon.I will see clouds catch fire in the sky and fear that the same will happen to me. I don't want to be 65 in the future and look back on the past years of my life only to see failure and regret." Or something along those lines. The essay itself is strong. It is just the introduction that got a bit confusing for you to write and for the reader to comprehend :-)


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