'slowest runners on the team' - Cross Country track admission essay

This essay is a 300 word essay required by the college:

Participating in Cross Country track has been a very challenging, yet rewarding experience. What attracted me to track is that it uniquely addresses both mental health and physical fitness. It also offers me the best of both worlds since track is an individual sport as well as a team sport.

At first, the long hours and personal sacrifice seemed like a high price to pay. Being flat-footed certainly didn't help matters either. Conditioning, practicing and racing represented a full time commitment throughout the year. Not being able to begin studying until late in the evening presented some time management issues as well. Furthermore, most of my classes were either Honor or AP courses which meant that I couldn't "cut any corners" when it came to my academics.

Starting out, I was one of the slowest runners on the team. Poor performances offered very little encouragement. Even though I had a few setbacks, I refused to let that discourage me. The coaches supported my effort and applauded the fact that I wouldn't give up. They had soon convinced me that I was really competing against myself and that I was my biggest adversary. That's when it all clicked!

With their understanding and guidance, I was able to make the Varsity team in just three years. Track taught me how to focus on my goals. I've also learned how to pace and push myself, even while in pain, and thereby allowed me to carry these same skills over to my school work as well.

Cross Country has taught me the meaning of commitment, dedication and perseverance. As a result of this experience, I can now apply these same qualities towards everything I do, especially during difficult situations.

Cross Country has helped me forge important friendships, demonstrate leadership and become a better individual.

I am assuming you are seeking technical assistance, and as such.

First, "Cross Country" shouldn't be capitalized, as it is not a proper noun nor the first word of a sentence.

Second, "sacrifice" should be "sacrificed."

Avoid using contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate. "Didn't" should be "did not."

There should be a comma after "practicing" and "Varsity" shouldn't be capitalized. There should be a comma after "leadership."

Gloria,

Wow! Thank you for the prompt reply.

If I might indulge your services one more time please, I would like to submit the following for your perusal:

Most people learn about life from what they were taught by their teachers and parents.
Experience also teaches us how to learn from our mistakes as well as our successes.
While these lessons help guide me through life, no one has taught me more about what
really matters most than my younger brother Chris.

Chris is 14 years old. He is also autistic. I have a great deal of admiration and respect for
Chris, but it's his rare and special qualities that have the most profound effect on me. He
has helped me learn about life from his perspective, one that most people hardly ever
experience. He harbors no jealousy or animosity towards anyone. He does not steal, lie nor cheat. He treats people the same exact way that he expects to be treated. While his

thinking and rationale seem a bit naïve, can you imagine what the world would be like if
we all felt and acted the same way?

Money and material objects are not as important to him as they are most people. Simple
things like Ralph's Italian ice or playing Uno make him happy and content. His
enthusiasm is contagious. I have never seen such excitement and anticipation for something as simple as going to a Met game. In many ways, I feel that he is richer than most of us.

He goes to school year round while others are enjoying their summer vacation. Because
he also has scoliosis, he has to wear a brace twenty two hours a day, every day, yet he never objects even when it is hot outside. This makes me stop and think before I complain about something.

Chris is constantly working with aides and other individuals who provide him with the
support that he requires. While the work is often difficult and challenging, Chris never
gives up and continues to persevere. Just as Chris has learned to be determined despite
his disadvantages, I have also learned to push through the utmost difficult times. I strive
day after day doing work and activities that most people would not even consider doing
just because it is too difficult. My brother inspires me to not only do the work, but to do it
to the best of my ability, even if that means running more laps around the track or staying up until three in the morning doing my homework.

Chris's positive attitude towards life has also inspired me to make the best out of difficult
situations. Even after my grandparents had passed away, my brother's optimism made me
realize that better times were ahead, and that they were in a better place. I have also
learned from my brother not to judge people just on first impressions. Most people take
speech for granted and very often can make harsh criticisms on someone just because of
the way he or she speaks. However, after experiencing Chris's difficulties in expressing
himself I have developed into a more patient individual. Whenever my brother tries to tell
me something, I listen carefully and insightfully. Likewise with others, I make sure to
treat every individual with fairness and to be courteous when others are talking. Just as
my brother needs help understanding the important factors of life, I make an effort to help
him as well as other individuals that need help in coping with difficult times, or those
simply needing another pencil.

Chris is a perfect role model and mentor. His lifestyle has rubbed off on me.
He has taught me how to cope with disappointment and to be more empathetic towards
others. Thanks to Chris, I've learned to become more patient, tolerant and understanding
when dealing with people. Furthermore, because he is always playing practical jokes
which make people laugh and smile, I've learned how effective humor can be, especially
in sticky situations. He has made a significant impact on my life which I believe will
make me a better individual.