'Soccer - a huge part of my life' - common app essay

Please help correct errors and tell me if it good.
Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experience

As I compete with my opponents for the ball, as I run out of breath on many countless occasions and as I stand the risk of getting a broken nose or even a broken bone; It is the love of the game that keeps me going. I developed the love for soccer at the tender age of seven from my older brother who is now a professional soccer player. The feeling of confidence when I hold on to the ball and complete a pass and the inner feeling of joy I get when I score a goal is one of the most satisfying feelings in my life. Soccer has since become a huge part of me; I could never imagine my life without it. To improve my skills and also develop me mentally and physically since I hope to engage in it professionally one day I took the bold step and joined my junior high school team and never looked back since then. I have gained a wealth of experience in teamwork, coordination and discipline on the pitch and improved my relationship skills and respect for others off the pitch. Soccer has thought me never to give up. Even if I do not succeed when I try an activity once, I work harder at it and give it a try again and again till I do.

broken nose or even a broken bone; It is the love of the game that keeps me going.
perhaps insert comma after the "bone"

Soccer has since become a huge part of me; I could never imagine my life without it.
Perhaps try to elaborate why you can't live without it?

To improve my skills and also develop me mentally and physically since I hope to engage in it professionally one day
Perhaps try: I strive to improve my skills both mentally and physically since I hope to engage soccer in a professional setting and as result of my ambition, I took the bold step...

Soccer has thought me neve
Soccer has *taught* me... to never give up.

Even if I do not succeed when I try an activity once, I work harder at it and give it a try again and again till I do.

Perhaps try: I work my hardest until my goal is finally achieved.

other than that, pretty good stuff.

thank you very much