"Social Science Department (Economics) - academic or intellectual curiosities?

Sorry, I'm really confused on what your assignment is. Is it supposed to be an essay? if so, what is the prompt?

or is it a real conversation?

I'd like to get a bit more info before criticizing your post so that I don't completely misunderstand what you're trying to accomplish.

Hey yang!
Well its a short essay type question which has a word limit of 2000 characters..
The question is,
What are your current academic and/or intellectual curiosities?
Please help me out asap... I will help you too.. The conversation is bit like a gesture..you know.. i thot that would add a lil bit of stance to my overall essay.

Tnq!

hmm...i see

I'd say no, the conversation isn't important. Actually, it confuses the reader and deviates from your point. If you absolutely want to put some conversations in it, make it AT MOST 1 back and forth, like the teacher saying something and you respond AT MOST. I'd suggest you reflecting on something the teacher said, which will be a lot clearer

Now, I don't think that the start of your essay, in which you described how you at first hated the class because the teacher was bad, then got a tutor and improved, which made you interested in Econ is the right way of going about the problem. The admin might think that you are a student who, if the teacher's bad, isn't able to go back on track unless with a good tutor, which isn't always available in college, see what I mean?

Also, I don't think that you really need to say that you failed to understand Econ first to like it. I mean, your focus isn't how you didn't like Econ initially, but why YOU LIKED econ. Therefore, I'd start by saying something in the line of Econ is a first love or something cheesy, but attention catching, and keep going on why you liked Econ.

Now, where does the lawyer and international interest comes from? I mean, you spent the first 90% of your essay talking about Econ and Math, and suddenly, you say: well, I like those subjects, but I'd rather become a lawyer...it's not really what you're trying to do here.

My suggestion: Find your focus. Do you want to talk about how you love Econ? or Math? or International relations and Law?
Once you do that, write your essay around this idea and this idea ONLY. You could use your other interest to complement your main interest. E.g. I like Econ partly because it includes a lot of Math, and I've always loved Math. I find Econ a very broad discipline that includes many fascinating subjects... (that's pretty much how I wrote my Cornell supplement)

but in any case, this essay is at best confusing. You're trying to picture the entirety of your person here, which isn't always the best way. Try to limit your interest to 1 thing, and use your life experiences/other interests to support it.

Tnx Yang.
Even I didn't seem to understand what I wrote. Lol..
So I wrote a new one. Sorry to trouble you. But I really appreciate what you have commented above.
Well I am posting the new one here. I hope you like this better.

While we realize your interests may change in college, what are your current academic or intellectual curiosities?

Response: Looking through the advent of current political tribulations and turmoil, accompanied by everyday protests and melancholy in Nepal, where hunger and strife have hit the highest point, poor economy seems to be the major curb to national stability. As economic recession together with political violence has been afflicting the nation at a strikingly rapid pace, children are deprived of habitual recreation due to killing and kidnapping, adults are struggling hard to manage even a subsistent living standard because of rocketing prices, shrinking job opportunities and food shortages and the elderly groups are traumatized as being suffocated around the four walls due to growing fear.

Having had all my education in a troubled third world country, I now realize the importance of having the strength to make a difference in my own country. One of the biggest obstacles to our nation's stability is the relatively big clique of people who like nothing more than aping the manners of the Europeans and the American ways of resolving problems. Imitating a different culture will not work as each culture has its own distinction; its own face and its own domain. So ever since I could contemplate over the sedatives for our country's current model, I have been eager to come up with my own for Nepal because development starts with a thought. Economy being the major concern today, the study of economics is what clicks me always. By its coherence with the practical world, economics creates a wealth of thought provoking ideas in my mind, all of which help me understand the major setback to our country's wealth, employment and overall stability. With its relevance to every problem of our country, poverty, discrimination, violation, etc., economics fascinates me with its method of systematic organization under stark restriction and thus, encourages me to be able to apply its concept in the real world consequences which could one day take the form of regaining overall stability in Nepal.

you're the one looking right? so your subject needs to be "I", not poor economy

at a quick glance, your essay seems well written, but too heavy with theory. I also aim at an economics major, but frankly, the information you provide in this essay are wayyyy too specialized. It's not bad, but I doubt the one reading your essay will be an economic major.

More importantly, it's not personal enough. Sure, big ideas are nice and it's great to know that you understand economics, but the reader doesn't understand YOU as a person. You need not to provide your knowledge on economics, but on WHY you like economics and WHY this discipline INTRIGUES you. (The prompt ask for curiosity, not everything you know about Econ)

It's nice to say that your interest for econ grew from your love for your country, but you're obviously still a LONG shot from being able to change your country's policies. Therefore, making this your ONLY reason to like economics seems very fluffy and "fake" in a sense. You really don't have any credibility as a senior to say that you'll save your country one day, and that's why you should be accepted.

My suggestions: You need to make WHY you like Econ as your main point, and incorporate an event/anecdote, something dramatic that happened to you that changed your perspective of econ or that made you realize your love for it. Your essay has to touch the reader's heart and convince the admin that you truly love econ. This can't be done through sprouting big theories about econ, but only through a truthful and down to earth story.

Personally, I wrote how I at first thought Econ as a social studies course like history, which I absolutely loath, but realized how this is a very broad subject and incorporates many of the things I liked, math and such. Also, as an immigrant who "earned" many interests and talents, I feel that Econ, a multifaceted subject, was perfect for me.

I'm not saying that that's what you should do, but you really need to show the reader that you really like econ through any means necessary.

How about this for an intro:

Location: Social Science Department (Economics Class)
Teacher:Welcome class.(

Without any sort of introduction, the Economics teacher opens the book and says, "You must know what is demand and supply,opportunity cost,elasticity,utility,etc as they are the basics of economics." I thin to myself, I made a mistake;should have chosen Further Mathematics instead. The teacher goes on introducing the demand and supply curves, and I am wondering if the concept is similar to geometry.

:-)

Tnx Kevin.. I will make those corrections.