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Something important about me - Strange Supplement for College of William & Mary.



qlulu 2 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
I wrote a rather strange application essay and I thought of turning it in to see the reaction. My scores are fairly high, and my normal commonapp essay is fine. Thoughts?

Prompt: "Tell us something important about you" 500 words or less~

Essay:

Let me tell you something about myself: I am torn. Torn between whether to choose vanilla or strawberry ice cream. Torn between whether to choose a major in music or science. Torn between the Republican and Democrat parties. Torn over whether I should call myself White or Middle Eastern. Torn. Torn. Torn.

Perhaps some will think me frivolous--a person overly concerned with which flavor of cold confection is best fitted for his palate. I shall call them lifeless. To me, life is about choices--and carefully considered choices at that.

When I see a magnificent cone adorned by scoop after scoop of gleaming frozen desert, my heart stops. Of course not literately, however, it strains and jumps as I mull over the myriad of options available to me. This is war. A war of ideas within my own mind.

Now, do not jump to conclusions, I am perfectly sane (allow me this one fantasy). In speaking of my inability to decide on a college major, I simply mean I have too many interests. But perhaps that is my Achilles heel. On the one hand, music is natural to me. It has been my almost constant companion these short 18 years I've crawled the surface of planet Earth. True as this may be, science fascinates me. I was the sort of kid who got a new Lego set and ripped the instructions to sherds in favor of my own bizarre creations. I feel that science affords me this same opportunity. The opportunity to build and test outside the confines of someone's instruction manual.

Politically, I am a neophyte. However, this has not stopped my pigheaded opinions from rearing their sharp, and often unwelcome, head in many a socially-awkward situation. But I digress. I have flip-flopped a thousand times on which party I support. For a short while I was even interested in the green party. Someday, I hope my political naïveté will be shed in light of a more informed position.

My mother was born in Beirut, Lebanon. My father was born in San Antonio, Texas. I am a half-breed. This rather strange mix of races is the primary source of my ethnic confusion. I have frequently referred to myself as a "fake" caucasian or a "pseudo" Lebanese. Neither of these is quite accurate. Whatever my proper ethnic title might be, I feel the amalgam of my nationalities has acted as more of a blessing than a curse. I wake up in the morning and think to myself, "Who should I be today?"

If one were to write a descriptive phrase about me, it might well read, "The boy who could battle himself over a lump of sugar--and love it." Though I cannot agree with myself on many an issue, that inability to decide becomes the glue that holds my personality together. Accuse me of indecision and right you might be. I am far too busy fighting my own internal war over what words I should include in the final sentence of this essay to notice.

ardron - / 4  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
Okay so, one internet mantra: LOL. Not much to change. Who knows how they will react?
starkizzlers 3 / 10  
Dec 31, 2009   #3
clever clever! This will definitely make you stand out, especially from those who may also have fairly high scores and normal common app essays.

Since I'm a grammar nazi I'm going to pick on you for this one thing.

However, this has not stopped my pigheaded opinions from rearing their sharp, and often unwelcome, headS in many a socially-awkward situation.

I'm sure you knew that though, but at least nowI feel like i've at least said something constructive. Good luck! :D

if possible, could anyone do me the huge favor of looking at my NYU supplements?
Wanderer_x 5 / 84  
Dec 31, 2009   #4
Strange and funny. I like your essay the way it is.

I shall call them lifeless.

That sounds a bit rude. Maybe use "I don't mind."

Good Luck!

If you have can spare few minutes, please review mine:
OP qlulu 2 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #5
I noticed that as well while writing it. However, I left it head because I read like this: Opinions from rearing their head. I was thinking collectively they had one head. I'm confused as to whether or not that is a matter of interpretation.
ardron - / 4  
Dec 31, 2009   #6
I thought of that as well. Maybe you should consult an English teacher about it before you turn in your essay?
OP qlulu 2 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #7
Will do. One more thing, should I include a title? I had some trouble thinking one up. Any suggestions are welcome, as always.
ardron - / 4  
Dec 31, 2009   #8
Could I get your permission to print this off and read it to a friend?
OP qlulu 2 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #9
Go for it~
ardron - / 4  
Dec 31, 2009   #10
Okay thanks. :DD


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