'space and games' - common app

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

During my whole life, I have always been interested in two things: space and games. I always wanted to be a game programmer, but as I grew up, I discovered I had the gift for others things: mathematics and physics. At the beginning, it was just a gift I used for school and I just wanted to be a game developer but when came the time to choose want I wanted to do in the future, I did some researches and I found that I needed to pursue my study in mathematics if I wanted to become one game programmer. That is how I get interested in mathematics, then physics because I needed mathematics in order to work in physics. And as I entered into college, I was divided between my love of space and my will of being game programmer. During the two years I spent in college, I found that there was a study program which allowed me to study for both space and game programmer: engineering. That is how I get interested in engineering and more particularly the University Of Michigan College of engineering.

Not only would the UOM college of engineering will allow me to study for the both degree of study I want without losing time deciding which major to take, so that I can get the job I want in the future, but it is also related to math and physics, subjects where I am very good at, which is important because before doing something, I think it is better to have strong abilities necessary to do that thing. Because of mathematics, I became curious, so much that I became interested in researches in the space field. I know that the University of Michigan has the best equipment for researches and I have strong and original ideas. If I am admitted, being at UOM will give me the opportunity to turn those ideas into reality ,also the Michigan Learning Communities program will help me develop my interests and ideas with people who like them ,and want to help me to develop them. Either way, I am winning because my ideas will be developed on both sides, and will not die before even being explored. The ethnic diversity in the university will help me know people from different origins with different opinions and different ideas.

I think that how students spend their time inside and outside school is very important in order to succeed. With its academic programs, the resources available to students, and its reputation, the UOM has all the characteristics I think a university should have. Add to that an incredible diversity among the students, the professors' efficiency, and a college of engineering which offers the program I want, and you understand why I want to study at the UOM.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- -

Please edit any grammer mistakes and comment on whether this essay answers the question properly. I'm also not completely sure about the conclusion.

Thank you!

I think that how students spend their time inside and outside school is very important in order to succeed. With its academic programs, the resources available to students, and its reputation, the UOM has all the characteristics I think a university should have. In addition to that, UOM has an incredible diversity among the students, the professors' efficiency, and a college of engineering which offers the program I want, and you understand why I want to study at the UOM.

Nice essay, well thought out and written, nice word choice!

If you have the time, please review my essays:)

pleaaase help with the grammar ONLY if cannot do more.it is due tonight.:)

During my whole life, I have always been interested in two things: space and games. I always wanted to be a game programmer. However, as I grew up, I discovered that I have the gift for other things: mathematics and physics. In the beginning, it was a gift I used for school and I just wanted to be a game developer. Nevertheless , when the time for me to choose want I wanted to do in the future came , I did some research and I found that I needed to pursue my study in mathematics if I wanted to become a game programmer. That is how I became interested in mathematics, and then physics because I needed mathematics in order to work in physics. And as I entered college, I was divided between my love of space and my will of being game programmer. During the two years I spent in college, I found that there was a study program which allowed me to study for both space and game programmer: engineering. That is how I get interested in engineering and more particularly the University Of Michigan's College of Engineering .

Not only would the UOM college of engineering will allow me to study for the both degree of study I want without losing time deciding which major to take, so that I can get the job I want in the future, but it is also related to math and physics, subjects where I am very good at, which is important because before doing something, I think it is better to have strong abilities necessary to do that thing. (The sentence is too long and unnecessarily complex. Try to separate what you want to let them know into different sentences. Furthermore, I think it would be best if you do not mention the whole "job in the future" thing. The overall logic is that if you pass with good grades, you'll obviously have a good job. Maybe you can write something like this:)

Not only would UOM's College Of Engineering allow me to study for both the degrees I want to study without losing the time required to choose between the two majors, but also the subjects featured here are mathematics and physics - two subjects which I am very good at, and I believe that, before doing something, it is better to have a natural strength in that particular field.

Because of mathematics, I became so much curious that I became interested in researches in the space field. I know that the University of Michigan has the best equipment for researches and I have strong and original ideas. If I am admitted into UOM, it will give me the opportunity to turn those ideas into reality. Also, the Michigan Learning Communities program will help me develop my interests and ideas with people who like them, and want to help me to develop them. Either way, I am winning because my ideas will be developed on both sides, and will not die before even being explored. The ethnic diversity in the university will help me know people from different origins with different opinions and different ideas.

I think that how students spend their time inside and outside school is very important in order to succeed. With its academic programs, the resources available to students, and its reputation, UOM has all the characteristics I think a university should have. Add to that an incredible diversity among the students, the professors' efficiency, and a college of engineering which offers the program I want, and you understand why I want to study at the UOM.