Hi I was wondering if I could receive some feedback on my college essay, any comments/help welcomed and appreciated!!!!
Splash! It was the unforgettable summer of 1996 when the liquid, never ceasing to amaze me, returned. The substance appeared as familiar as an old friend, but the sounds and emotions of thrill and adventure associated with it- completely new. After spending countless childhood summer days at Aronimink Golf Club immersed in the water of the baby-pool, exploring and learning, I soon longed for more. Leaning over the edge, gazing at the immense lap-pool ahead of me, I remember eagerly wishing to race through the water just as the "big kids" did; yet one obstacle hindered me from fulfilling this desire- my "floaties", my safety net. After liberating myself from this protection, I - now vulnerable and defenseless, plunged off the block into the deep waters. As I penetrated through the surface of the water, I was released of the apprehensions I once held; I was fearless. My inseparable bond with the water had begun.
"Eight glasses a day, Taylor", I recall, from my earliest memory, my mother's persistent nagging. Then, around the age of five, my attitude changed as I soon discovered my mother's fixation on the liquid could be used to my advantage. Pleading "Mom, I'm thirsty, I need water" just moments after bedtime became my escape-plan, and when flawlessly executed, my chance at catching a glimpse of the newest episode of Full House. However, as I turned six that year and my bed time was graciously extended, my reliance on water had faded.
As I began my four-year journey at Villa Maria Academy and experienced firsthand the pressure and stress of high school which my siblings had warned me of, the role of water in my life intensified. It no longer functioned as a diversion, or even as a mere form of recreation- it became my escape, my entrance into a world of endless freedom and possibility. In the pool, the demands and stress of balancing an upcoming AP Chemistry test or an approaching yearbook deadline left me, as the water instilled in me a newfound sense of clarity. Whether I was a freshman contemplating whether to join Student Council or the lacrosse team, or a junior deciding on the perfect prom date, the water somehow always provided me with the solutions.
Splash! The easily recognizable sound of water engulfs my ears; but now, it is as I plunge into the water for my first rescue as a lifeguard at Whiteland Woods Pool. The splash is no longer a sound of excitement or bliss, but one of pressure and responsibility. The water, once my escape and strength, emerges as an opponent, challenging me to act as, it truly becomes a matter of survival, of life or death.
H2O, Dihydrogen Oxide, Water: the simplest of compounds made of two of the most basic chemical elements, who would have thought of the impact that this seemingly insignificant natural resource could have on my life? Today, as I gaze into the pool, it dawns on me that in the water I can now see a reflection of myself. As I stare into this substance which has guided me in my self-discovery, our similarities become crystal clear. I, like the water, am encouraging and nurturing, yet independent and powerful. While my strengths at times may be overlooked, I should not be underestimated- I am capable of having immense impact on the world.
Splash! It was the unforgettable summer of 1996 when the liquid, never ceasing to amaze me, returned. The substance appeared as familiar as an old friend, but the sounds and emotions of thrill and adventure associated with it- completely new. After spending countless childhood summer days at Aronimink Golf Club immersed in the water of the baby-pool, exploring and learning, I soon longed for more. Leaning over the edge, gazing at the immense lap-pool ahead of me, I remember eagerly wishing to race through the water just as the "big kids" did; yet one obstacle hindered me from fulfilling this desire- my "floaties", my safety net. After liberating myself from this protection, I - now vulnerable and defenseless, plunged off the block into the deep waters. As I penetrated through the surface of the water, I was released of the apprehensions I once held; I was fearless. My inseparable bond with the water had begun.
"Eight glasses a day, Taylor", I recall, from my earliest memory, my mother's persistent nagging. Then, around the age of five, my attitude changed as I soon discovered my mother's fixation on the liquid could be used to my advantage. Pleading "Mom, I'm thirsty, I need water" just moments after bedtime became my escape-plan, and when flawlessly executed, my chance at catching a glimpse of the newest episode of Full House. However, as I turned six that year and my bed time was graciously extended, my reliance on water had faded.
As I began my four-year journey at Villa Maria Academy and experienced firsthand the pressure and stress of high school which my siblings had warned me of, the role of water in my life intensified. It no longer functioned as a diversion, or even as a mere form of recreation- it became my escape, my entrance into a world of endless freedom and possibility. In the pool, the demands and stress of balancing an upcoming AP Chemistry test or an approaching yearbook deadline left me, as the water instilled in me a newfound sense of clarity. Whether I was a freshman contemplating whether to join Student Council or the lacrosse team, or a junior deciding on the perfect prom date, the water somehow always provided me with the solutions.
Splash! The easily recognizable sound of water engulfs my ears; but now, it is as I plunge into the water for my first rescue as a lifeguard at Whiteland Woods Pool. The splash is no longer a sound of excitement or bliss, but one of pressure and responsibility. The water, once my escape and strength, emerges as an opponent, challenging me to act as, it truly becomes a matter of survival, of life or death.
H2O, Dihydrogen Oxide, Water: the simplest of compounds made of two of the most basic chemical elements, who would have thought of the impact that this seemingly insignificant natural resource could have on my life? Today, as I gaze into the pool, it dawns on me that in the water I can now see a reflection of myself. As I stare into this substance which has guided me in my self-discovery, our similarities become crystal clear. I, like the water, am encouraging and nurturing, yet independent and powerful. While my strengths at times may be overlooked, I should not be underestimated- I am capable of having immense impact on the world.
