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The number of television sales annually from 1996 to 1999


kukuh 4 / 6  
Apr 28, 2014   #1
Hi guys, comment me please

The bar graph describes the fluctuation the number of television sales among in 1996 and 1999. It gives us the announcement of the development of the sales each year.

In 1996, selling television was only 6 million units and it rose to 8 million units in 1997. There was an increase significantly in 1997 to 1998 started from 8 million going to 11 million units. However, reducing had happened in 1998 to 1999 by the difference of valuable sales was 1 million televisions.

Overall, we can see this bar chart which the lowest sale occurred in 1996 by 6 million units and sales in 1999 were the highest sales with sales of 11 million units. An increase in sales occurred generally from year to year except in 1999, television sales dropped slightly.

The given bar graph illustrates television sales which happened from 1996 to 1999 based on the number of sales annually.



bakhadeer 6 / 20  
Apr 28, 2014   #2
it is hard to write at least 150 words by graph like this. there is not enough info. i suggest that try to do the whole task (i dont believe in Ielts writing task only this graph is given)

so overall, you did pretty good) go on. never never stop
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 28, 2014   #3
The bar graph describes the fluctuation of the number of television sales among in 1996 and 1999

There was an increase significantly a significant increase in 1997 to 1998 started from 8 million going to 11 million units

However, reducing had happened in 1998 to 1999 by the difference of valuable sales was 1 million televisions.

this sentence is double verbs, you should put conjunction between those two verbs

where did you get this approach?introduction
body
overview
conclusion
in IELTS TASK 1 you can follow this approach
introduction
body
body
conclusion

or
introduction
overview
body
body
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 28, 2014   #4
among in 1996 and 1999.

between 1996 and 1999.

an increase significantly

wrong
noun phrase ; a significant increase
or
significantly (adv) increase (verb)

Overall,

A more detailed look at the bar chart reveals that ....
Overall is an indication of Overview which contains the main trend.

The given bar graph illustrates television sales which happened from 1996 to 1999 based on the number of sales annually.

it seems the introduction but you put it as a conclusion

personally, i'm quite confuse with your approach.


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