Carnegie Mellon
Please submit a one page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. For freshmen applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are applying. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and program, your essay can impact our final decision. Candidates applying for early decision or transfer may apply to only one college and department.
This is a pretty bad essay I wrote it last minute :(
Spongebob band-aids - the one memorable constant of my childhood. As a child I was prone to injuries and my mother would carefully patch me back up and wipe away my continual tears. Watching her face, always a mix of annoyance and amusement, I felt a sense of awe bubble up within me. This irresistible rapture toward her selfless actions eventually grew into my unconscious desire to fix people, just as she had done.
My inquisitive childish mind viewed what it meant to be aware and how it applied beyond a mere physical sensation. To achieve this state of complete awareness I realized that there was no point in containing my curiosity by limiting it to one particular field or profession. For the past several years, I have been relatively sure on following a path toward practicing medicine, a career that I believed fit me. I grew up watching medical shows, volunteering at hospitals, and interning with an oncologist and later a cardiologist. But I found it wasn't possible to view the world from a strictly biological viewpoint. Rather than focusing on the microscopic, psychology augments and interweaves all three sciences and the unique roles they play in developing the human life.
While many schools of thought, such as engineering, strive to improve human life, psychology seeks to understand it. Instead of merely comprehending facts, psychologists aim to penetrate the mystery of their origin. Why do we act and think the way we do? Nothing interests me more than dabbling with the mind and what drives it. And Carnegie Mellon's College of Humanities and Sciences Psychology department has a myriad of concentrations ranging from Cognitive Neuroscience to Development Psychology. Carnegie Mellon also places a heavy importance on undergraduate research, requiring at least two classes on research methods. It also provides an opportunity to participate in a nationally funded research program to be recruited into the mental-health field. Furthermore by participating in the unified double major program of Psychology and Biology I will be able to sate my passion for both the technical and the intuitive.
At Dietrich College, I see students devoted to learning for its sake. Promoting a heavily interdisciplinary curriculum to foster knowledge in different perspectives, Carnegie Mellon ensures that I am more than just a number. In its uniquely incorporative structure, Dietrich College, despite containing large numbers of undergraduates, would allow me to form connections with those in majors vastly different from mine because of shared classes, or common interests. Carnegie Mellon makes sure that I do not lose my spirit of inquiry in favor of focusing on my major.
Carnegie Mellon prides itself on bringing together the sciences and the arts, allowing students to incorporate both instead of being limited to one. As I delve into the human psyche I would like to analyze the consequences of human behavior through history. From the Black Death to the revolution of motion pictures, studying history would allow me to create a unique niche blending psychology, biology, and social sciences to better comprehend what creates the human self.
If this is what you call pretty bad then I don't know what bad means. The entire essay flows really well, logically and skillfully connecting a major influence from your childhood to the development of your character which ultimately leads into your choice of profession. Choice of words is only a little stiff at times (something small to work on) and the grammar is excellent as far as I can tell. I look back again at the prompt but (anyone else correct me if I'm wrong), I'm pretty sure you answered everything it asked of you. Nice job!
