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Sports have been a major aspect throughout my life; Seattle U Sup



giallolover23 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Prompt: Why do you feel that Seattle University is a good match with your educational goals?

Sports have been a major aspect throughout my life, whether it was gymnastics, soccer, volleyball, or basketball. In seventh grade, I developed knee pain and was referred to a physical therapist. I found that learning about my injury and how to fix the problem was very intriguing to me.

Throughout high school, I've taken courses that broaden my understanding of health and the human body. I took Anatomy and Physiology and AP Psychology classes last year and this year I'm taking an Advanced Sports Medicine and Athletic Training class. Taking these classes has taught me about injuries and the human body in general, and I find the material very fascinating. The love for these classes has shown me that I want to go into the healthcare field, most likely into sports medicine.

I've had some experience in the field by shadowing a physical therapist over the summer and learning about a wide variety of injuries and different rehabilitation techniques. This year I've also gotten the opportunity to work with the athletic trainer at my school. I've spent over one hundred hours so far this year in the training room learning about different injuries, body parts, and taping techniques as well as learning how to evaluate and treat an injured athlete. I enjoy every second of it, and I'm grateful that at Seattle University I would be given the privilege of working with many health care professional through my internship my senior year.

When researching Seattle University, I found that three-fourths of the students do some sort of community service. Another reason why I want to go into the health care field is because I get to help people. It brings great joy to me knowing that I've helped someone. I've done a lot of community service through my church the past few years and I look forward to volunteering my time to create a stronger community, especially in the medical field.

At Seattle University, I would be able to pursue my learning of the human body and health and fitness with the sport and exercise science program. The mandatory courses and opportunities of the program, including the internship program, really interest and excite me. I know that an education here would prepare me with the skills and experience I'll need for graduate school and beyond. Seattle University would also provide me the ability to stay near home, go to school in a closely knit community, and further my strong Catholic faith.

Is this a strong enough essay? Is it too long for a "brief" essay (just over 400 words)?
Any imput is much appreciated! Thanks!

ayu0006 8 / 17  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
I feel like your second paragraph is unnecessary, it can be omitted because the admission office will already know that you have taken those courses. Also try to go more in depth with Seattle university (reference some of the programs offered) because I can replace UCLA or Stanford University in it and it would still work well.

Other than that this is a nice-knitted essay.

may you check my extracurricular response or the cornell supplement, much help is appreciated n-n
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 1, 2013   #3
Sports have been a major aspect throughout my life, whether it was gymnastics, soccer, volleyball, or basketball. I developed knee pain and was referred to a physical therapist.I found that learning about my injury and how to fix the problem was very intriguing to me.

.... You need to set up a better link between the first and the second lines;
Irrespective of whether it is gymanstics, soccer, volleyball or basketball, these sports have always been an integral part of my life. Once I got injured on knee and was referred to a physio therapist, who helped me understand about my injury and how to fix the problem. This was the advent of my passion for learning health and human body.


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