Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
As I stepped foot on stage, I took a glance at the crowd in the Auditorium. There my parents were, roaring my name and expressing how proud they were of me. I could feel my heartbeat thumping harder and harder as I approached my fifth grade teacher. She presented me with a trophy in one hand and a firm handshake with the other while congratulating me on the completion of the program. With an enormous smile on my face, I turned to raise my trophy and at that instant I realized that I would soon be a part of the Excite family.
Summer had arrived and the time had come for people to fill out their applications to be a part of the Excite staff. Anxiety took over my mind as I completed the application. Crossing my fingers, I placed the packet down in the box at the council corner in church and let out a sigh of relief. It would take approximately two weeks to receive a response from the national Excite team but little did I know that it would be worth the wait. I was ecstatic by hearing the news of being picked to be the seventh grade teacher. Training had begun the following Saturday and it seemed to be very instructive, the team had been very specific on telling us the main objectives of Excite and how to accomplish them. Upon the arrival of the first Excite day, my assistant and I were very eager to see how the students would respond to our lesson plans. As the day came to an end, we had already seen such a drastic change in attitude and a new love for reading. The students continued to enhance their critical thinking skills and had fun while doing it. Whenever it was time to think of new activities for the next session, my assistant and I would never procrastinate. Noticing the difference we made in the students lives helped motivate us and think of creative new lesson plans.
The five weeks had passed and graduation day was around the corner. Parents and all teachers were both invited to celebrate the students accomplishments. Speeches were made by the national Excite team and later each grade went up stage to collect their certificate and trophy. After the students had graduate, teachers received a standing ovation. In that moment, I felt as if I had made a big difference in the lives' of not just the students but the parents as well. It was the same feeling I had felt at my own Excite graduation.
I am very well aware that the University of Florida only accepts the best of the best and I can assure the staff that they won't be disappointed in me. In each community service project I have done, I have learned a different lesson in each and every one of them, which only makes me grow as a person. Doing these projects made me realize that my passion is to help people in any way possible, that is why my dream would be to become a doctor. With my determination and academic skills, I know I can overcome any obstacle that comes in my way. As years go by and my name comes up, the University will not dig their heads to the ground in shame, but will stand up tall with heads high and smile.
This is my first draft and I would really appreciate it if you gave me some feedback to see if I'm on the right track or going off topic or anything. Also, it seems a little bit too long so if you could tell me what isn't needed in the essay, that would be great.
As I stepped foot on stage, I took a glance at the crowd in the Auditorium. There my parents were, roaring my name and expressing how proud they were of me. I could feel my heartbeat thumping harder and harder as I approached my fifth grade teacher. She presented me with a trophy in one hand and a firm handshake with the other while congratulating me on the completion of the program. With an enormous smile on my face, I turned to raise my trophy and at that instant I realized that I would soon be a part of the Excite family.
Summer had arrived and the time had come for people to fill out their applications to be a part of the Excite staff. Anxiety took over my mind as I completed the application. Crossing my fingers, I placed the packet down in the box at the council corner in church and let out a sigh of relief. It would take approximately two weeks to receive a response from the national Excite team but little did I know that it would be worth the wait. I was ecstatic by hearing the news of being picked to be the seventh grade teacher. Training had begun the following Saturday and it seemed to be very instructive, the team had been very specific on telling us the main objectives of Excite and how to accomplish them. Upon the arrival of the first Excite day, my assistant and I were very eager to see how the students would respond to our lesson plans. As the day came to an end, we had already seen such a drastic change in attitude and a new love for reading. The students continued to enhance their critical thinking skills and had fun while doing it. Whenever it was time to think of new activities for the next session, my assistant and I would never procrastinate. Noticing the difference we made in the students lives helped motivate us and think of creative new lesson plans.
The five weeks had passed and graduation day was around the corner. Parents and all teachers were both invited to celebrate the students accomplishments. Speeches were made by the national Excite team and later each grade went up stage to collect their certificate and trophy. After the students had graduate, teachers received a standing ovation. In that moment, I felt as if I had made a big difference in the lives' of not just the students but the parents as well. It was the same feeling I had felt at my own Excite graduation.
I am very well aware that the University of Florida only accepts the best of the best and I can assure the staff that they won't be disappointed in me. In each community service project I have done, I have learned a different lesson in each and every one of them, which only makes me grow as a person. Doing these projects made me realize that my passion is to help people in any way possible, that is why my dream would be to become a doctor. With my determination and academic skills, I know I can overcome any obstacle that comes in my way. As years go by and my name comes up, the University will not dig their heads to the ground in shame, but will stand up tall with heads high and smile.
This is my first draft and I would really appreciate it if you gave me some feedback to see if I'm on the right track or going off topic or anything. Also, it seems a little bit too long so if you could tell me what isn't needed in the essay, that would be great.