Stanford short ECA Essay: Musical Passion

Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

When I can play a song on my guitar by heart, I no longer have to concentrate on the sheets in front of me. I immerse myself in the sounds I create, and it just becomes so easy to get lost. There're no boundaries now. I leap between dynamics, tailoring my strumming to the emotions I'm feeling.

Playing guitar allowed me into a community where the only thing that mattered was harmony, and the ability to harmonize.

There's beauty in the ability to sit down with another guitarist, and collaborate. With no prior discussion, he plays a few chords, and I catch on. I have a rhythm in my head, and it works, it works with what he's playing. We switch over, now I'm playing chords, he's on rhythm. We say nothing, speak no words, but just understand. We both love what we're doing, and it becomes hard to stop.

Words entered: 150

Any feedback is appreciated :) I'm not sure if I'm being too vague/flowery, but I wanted to convery a sense of passion.

Hello, this is an interesting topic. I would like to give you some feedback.

In the first paragraph, you start the opening of your paragraph really well. However, there is a misspelling in this sentence: "There are no boundaries."

When you attempt to write the second paragraph, you have a sentence that is separated from each paragraph. This sentence should start the second paragraph. Change this sentence to: "Playing a guitar allowed me into a community where the only thing that mattered was harmony, and the ability to harmonize. " This is an excellent sentence and the one word that was missing makes it more complete!

The third paragraph opens with a comma that is not needed. Delete the comma after guitarist. Do you mean catch on or able to follow his lead harmoniously? The next sentence is a little confusing. Here is a suggestion: "I have a rhythm in my head and it not only works, it works with with what he's playing." The next sentence I am going to suggest stating: "As we transition, now I'm playing chords and he's playing the rhythm."

Thank you so much!
And yes my purpose for the 3rd paragraph was the ease with which the two of us could play together, without any prior practice. I can see how it was a bit convoluted now, I appreciate the feedback :)