'Stanford sets the character limit' - Supplement Essay- Roommate

Hi there,
This is my supplement for Stanford, please feel free to give critics!

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear roommate,

I am Liu Chong from China, a freshman like you. I am very glad to share the room and to live together with you. But first let me introduce myself.

Admitted by Stanford, we must all have something unique. For me, my most important uniqueness is my great passion for science and engineering. So I hope that we can discuss about interesting science topics and help each other to have more insightful understanding. I am curious about you; what is your attribute that you cherish the most?

But don't misunderstand; I am not a nerd with only high IQ. You will find me a very easygoing and helpful person in everyday life. My friends always describe me as a sedate and mature listener who can help them with difficulties. So whenever you need help, please do not hesitate to ask me. I don't know your background yet, but I have studied and lived abroad for four years without my family around, so I know how it is like when you feel alone, when you need advices, or when you want to vent your emotions, you can trust me.

Besides above mentioned, I am also a person with broad hobbies within which I can find the fun of life. And I actively involve my friends in my hobbies to share the fun with them. I love photography, perhaps we will go out for photos together. I can also teach you to play Rubik Cubes, from 2X2X2 to 11X11X11 to other uncommon classes. I will also show you my collection of minerals; some of my friends were captivated by the beauty of nature and started collecting as well. I hope you will love it, too. Do you know how to program? If so, I am happy to invite you to become a member of the mobile software studio founded by my friend and me, developing software with friends is indeed a great experience.

I do have much more to tell you, but sadly Stanford sets the character limit. So I am really looking forward to seeing you in Stanford. Be well prepared to tell me your stories as well!

Yours Sincerely,

Liu Chong

I am Liu Chong from China, a freshman like you. I am very glad to share the room and to live together with you. But first let me introduce myself.------------------ This sounds a bit too formal and I feel you should add a bit more emotions to this section to cheer up your roommate and start liking you even before he meets you. So I suggest something like;

I am Liu Chong from China, the freshman who is gladly looking forward to sharing the room with you for the next four exciting years in our lives. I am sure that it would not be just the room we share but also many memories and experiences that would last for life long.

Admitted by Stanford, we must all have something unique. For me, my most important uniqueness is my great passion for science and engineering. So I hope that we can discuss about interesting science topics and help each other to have more insightful understanding. I am curious about you; what is your attribute that you cherish the most? ---------- I suggest you to reconsider about the unique part. Because, in my opinion, having a passion for science and engineering cannot be considered as somewhat unique about you. Many of your future collegues may share the same passion with you. So try to say it in a different way. You can say, if you like, that you believe he too shares the passion for science and engineering as you do becuase he too intends to major in that discipline and that would immensly help each other to prosper in your acadmic pursuit.