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Stanford Supplement Suggestions: Describe something intellecutally stimulating


jwrc5 2 / 3  
Dec 23, 2009   #1
Prompt: Describe Something that you find to be intellecutally stimulating.

Electronic and synthesized music has always struck me as intellectually fascinating. Since I was young, I have always loved the industrial sounds of Nine Inch Nails or the danceable melodies of Daft Punk. Although I have always loved this new age music, I always find it disheartening how many people dislike electronic music. Most people claim that such music requires no intellect to create. On the contrary! Electronic, synthesized music is astoundingly mathematical and intellectual. When playing a piano, a hammer strikes a chord, which oscillates, and produces a fixed and brief sound. On a synthesizer, however, the oscillation, or vibration is variable in pitch and length.

Sound waves are then propelled through the air, taking the form of sinusoidal waves with peaks at both high and low pitches. On a piano, the pitch of a note is definite. Whereas, playing a synthesizer, the pitch of a note is controllable as the frequency and peaks of the wave can be manipulated. In other words, with each note, there are an infinite number of pitches to be expressed. Electronic artists, therefore, can explore a universe of sounds within each unique synthesizer. These artists are then able to find pitches along sine graphs and then build chords, modulate to a new movement, or simply create beauty or chaos. Synthesizers and electronic music are so fascinating, because musicians can use math to divine sounds and to create new music that no one has before dreamed.

My father says the essay is "opaque." And therefore bad. Hoping to get some idea if this is what Stanford is looking for. I also am hoping to inject more powerful language. Nonetheless, all comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks.
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 23, 2009   #2
Although I have always loved this new age music, (I've begun making it as well)

Having ( ) part is distrupts the flow of your essay.. try to find a way to nicely put it into your sentence.

this new age music

you are referring to Nine Inch Nails and Daft Punk, right? Make that part clearer and try to explain more what a 'new age music' is. Also, I don't really get how new age music contrasts with electronic music, even though you talk about the sinusoidal graphs (which makes me even more confused..).

I see how your essay can be opaque, but it can definitely improve with your further explaining of new age music and electronic music, and how they contrast to each other.

Otherwise, the essay was really interesting. :)

I would love it if you could also take a look at my essay.
doug 4 / 23  
Dec 23, 2009   #3
"you are referring to Nine Inch Nails and Daft Punk, right? Make that part clearer and try to explain more what a 'new age music' is. Also, I don't really get how new age music contrasts with electronic music, even though you talk about the sinusoidal graphs (which makes me even more confused..)." -sporty

I'm not sure what sporty is talking about, from what i read new age music=electronic music. Also, referring to Nine Inch Nails and Daft Punk was pretty clear in my opinion.

Really the only problem here, in my opinion, is that you should probably explain more on why it's stimulating to you rather than just talking about the science behind the music. Then again, you do answer the prompt.
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 24, 2009   #4
Oh, okay. So new age music=electronic music? I didn't really get that by reading..

Although I have always loved this new age music, I always find it disheartening how many people dislike electronic music.

Still, for people like me who don't know much about this kind of music, your sentence doesn't explain new age music=electronic music relationship.
OP jwrc5 2 / 3  
Dec 24, 2009   #5
I feel like that relationship is really irrelevant. New Age Music is revolving more and more around synthesizers, that's all. electronic music is relative to music using an electronic instrument. which is now all music in the 21st century. But I choose to discuss a few specific new age artists. artists who more explore synths further than others.
gynn92 3 / 30  
Dec 24, 2009   #6
You should elaborate more on how this influenced you. I feel like I'm reading an explanation. It's a good start. Also, come up with an attention grabber intro and a nice way to conclude. Good luck! =)

Take a look at my essay?


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