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Stanford Supplemental Essay- What matters to you and why- Toilets



dkhan 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2013   #1
Hey, I recently wrote a cliche essay for this prompt about my family. I liked it but I wanted to give a more unique answer to the prompt. So, I quickly whipped up this essay. I am not sure if this is good so tell me what you think:

Prompt: What matters to you and why?

What matters to me? Toilets. Why? Because toilets are a real world example that nothing is impossible.

For hundreds of generations, sewage seemed to be a problem with no solution; after all, who could efficiently move the waste across the whole city? Despite numerous endeavors, nobody was capable of building something better than a rudimentary form of waste disposal. However, in 1206, an Arab defied the attempts of the generations before him; he combined creativity, intelligence, and resourcefulness to create a modern toilet. He created the toilet because he was undaunted by the people who failed before him. He was undeterred by the logistics problems and the funding problems and the technology problems. He was unconcerned about the public opinion to use his invention. He undertook this project with only success in his mind, and success is what he was rewarded with.

The toilet is important to me not because it is a water pump but because it is a reminder. It's a reminder that even when the problem seems unsolvable, with enough effort, the solution can be found. It's a reminder just because someone has failed doesn't mean you will. It's a reminder to never stop pushing, even when all you know is failure and all you want to do is give up. Each time I sit on a toilet seat, I don't count my blessings of having this great invention in my house. Instead, I am imbued with ambition, ready to take on any challenge that presents itself.

iamnicholas1 10 / 17  
Dec 30, 2013   #2
I'm not going to lie; this made me laugh. Seriously, good job with thinking up an unconventional essay topic. Maybe you want to put another toilet joke at the end? I'm sure the college board will appreciate that one. I honestly can't correct much. I don't want to say there's too many facts in there, because I see where you're going - you need a background so they can appreciate toilets too - but I feel like you should talk a little more about yourself, since the prompt explicitly mentions you...Still, great job!

What is the Arab's name? You should include that. Also, you use "problem" a lot. Watch for run-on sentences.

Also, I just got that "never stop pushing" joke. VERY clever :D

I'm still laughing.


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