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Steadying the ball; Short Answer on Basketball for the Common Application



DDougall 3 / 6  
Sep 23, 2012   #1
As mentioned in the title of my post, this is my short answer for the Common Application. Their prompt is to describe/elaborate on in 1000 characters ( about 150-160 words) on an extracurricular activity of mine or a work experience. I chose to talk about basketball, an activity that I participate in outside of school...

Please give me detailed feedback on what you think-- anything that may need editing, confusing sounding areas or anywhere I could be more descriptive, etc. Thanks!! :)

Short answer for the Common Application:

Steadying the ball between my tired hands, I exhale deeply, the puff of my warm breath
contrasting with the cold night air. The squeak of my Nikes again mark the start of my motion
down the paved court. I run, weaving the ball around my ankles, passing it back and forth
between my fingertips. All I can see is the hoop in front of me as I drive myself forwards.
For me, basketball is more than just a game of skill. It is a passion that helps me to relax and
release any stress I've felt during the day. As I run-through the drills, both my mind and body are
conditioned to focus, persist, and settle into a rhythm of self-motivation...
In a surge of momentum, my feet shove against the pavement with all their power, my calf
muscles contract, and I jump, - in one fluid motion, extending my arm and driving the ball
through the hoop. I listen to the swish of the ball through the net and feel the satisfaction of my
dedication.

cdunk 1 / 8  
Sep 23, 2012   #2
"All I can see is the hoop in front of me as I drive myself forward s." change it too what is in red.

that's really good though, it has good imagery.


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