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cavanigma 1 / -  
Jan 13, 2022   #1
Hi everyone, tommorow is the final day of the Stipendium Hungaricum scholarship. I am feeling a bit nervous and some sort of overexpectations about my work so I am bringing it up here hoping to get new perspectives from you all. Here is my essay for the scholarship and I would really appreciate any comments. Thanks a lot!!!

Scholarship application letter

To whom it may concern

I am writing this letter to you to express my profound interest in a chance to study Economics at a Hungarian university through the aid of the Stipendium Hungaricum (SH) Scholarship. This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity will give me wings to reach new horizons of knowledge, which I will further use to contribute to my country as a business data analyst.

As a child, I was always intrigued by the game Monopoly, spending hours devising strategies to maximize my in-game profit. Back then, every time I played the game, I would imagine myself as a tycoon broadening his empire across the boundaries of the tiny Monopoly map. The bargains, the purchases, and most importantly the calculation of choices from the game has shaped my cognition into that of an economist and motivated me to be the founder of my high school's STEM and entrepreneur club.

Thanks to the STEM&E experience, I have earned myself a shot to participate in Vietnam's first ever world-class educational institution - VinUniversity's Write4Change Contest. It was there that I got to write about the digitizing economy and even pitch about the subject for Vietnam's top-tier economists. After the contest, not only was I exposed to a wide range of perspectives from peers and professionals alike, but I have also learned from my predecessors that to venture beyond the hometown shores is the epitome choice to broaden my intellect and provide answers for the everlasting problems of Vietnam's economy.

Although I am lucky enough to study in one of the most prestigious universities of Vietnam - the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam, I reckon that only studying in another culture can shape and fortify my perspectives, my beliefs about the world. However, my ambition can't drive me away from the reality that my parents are only officers with a low income. It was a blessing when I learned about the educational cooperation program between Vietnam and Hungary, supporting students to apply for the SH scholarship - the perfect opportunity with precise timing. My belief was even further strengthened when I watched the Hungarian team play valiantly against stronger nations during Euro 2020. The atmosphere in Puskas Arena, the ardor from fans everywhere urged me to be part of that wave, part of that country.

Regardless of the results from the program, I have always been preparing myself for a life across the seas as it is one of the must-have qualities of a global citizen. That being said, problems regarding self-finance management and language barriers cannot be undermined. Yet those problems urge me to dig deeper, understand more about the country. My primary goals are to have a part-time job and create connections with as many Hungarians as possible, in order to make Hungary my second home.

It is during this pandemic that I can observe the weaknesses of my countries' economy most thoroughly. Farmers' products for export are congested at borders due to the lack of a system modern enough to keep track of products' longevity and COVID exposure. Insufficient origin information led to key export products to Europe like catfish and prawns always violating European rules. Problems like that urge me to become a data analyst to improve the system where products' data between authorities and producers can be synchronized within minutes. Relying heavily on exporting products, Hungary is a pioneer model for developing countries when it comes to conducting complex import/ export systems. Only by obtaining knowledge from those who took the lead will my analyzing and evaluating skills reach full capability and contribute most effectively to my home country.

With my determination to show my values, I am confident that you will find my application as a worthwhile investment. My excitement about what the future has in store has never depleted, and the scholarship opportunity will set foot for greater things for me to achieve.

Yours faithfully
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,666 4113  
Jan 14, 2022   #2
I am writing this letter

The reviewer already knows that you are interested in studying at a university in Hungary. The question you have to answer is "Why?". Open not with a silly reminder of what you are writing the letter for. Rather, tell the reader why you are writing it. Why do you want to study Economics in Hungary? What sets the country and its universities apart from the others? How were you influenced by the notable Hungarian economists? How did knowing about these people influence your decision to follow in their footsteps? Impress the reviewer from the start. Don't waste the opportunity to make an impression as you are now.

My primary goals are to have a part-time job and create connections with as many Hungarians as possible, in order to make Hungary my second home.

No. Your primary goal is to study, nothing more, nothing less. Do not make the reviewer think that you just want to use the scholarship for means other than what the scholarship is meant for. Either rephrase that part or do not mention it at all.
Ani0506 2 / 2  
Jan 25, 2022   #3
First paragraph is completely unnecessary, you should get to your point straight away.
Julyffff 3 / 5 1  
Jan 30, 2022   #4
I think you should not mention that your parents are only officers, the way that it sounds seems that you not appreciate all sort of work and this could betrayed your real intention for this scholarship
helloitsme - / 2  
Feb 15, 2022   #5

I think you should alter your first paraghraph into something simple like: I am writing this letter to apply for Economic studies in Hungarian University.

also in the fourth paragraph is unnecessary to write in the motivstion esay.
jklkoskal 1 / 1  
Feb 19, 2022   #6
I think the first paragraph is unnecessary? but you can just alter it into something simple, and make it straight to the point.