Hi everyone !
My name is Lea and I am from France. I'm applying to school in the States this year and as you may know, the Common App 2012-2013 launches tomorrow. I've been working on my essay for quite a long time and I now need reviews, edits, feedbacks, anything that could help me improve it so it doesn't look I am a poor foreign kid that can't put their ideas together ! Well I might be exaggerating but I would need a Native speaker to proofread me.
Thank you for your help and don't hesitate to contact me !
Here's my essay on diversity
Prompt: A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
"Strenght lies in differences, not in similarities"
People classify diversity through differences; ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic classes, gender, sexual orientation and even hair color, they all tend to put a label on each one of us. To me, however, diversity is the understanding that each individual is unique.
This precept comes from my childhood and the way it shaped my personality for a lifetime.
I am a banal, white, teenager living in a house surrounded by a neat white fence, in the suburbs of a big city. Nothing original nor interesting. Nonetheless, my life changed overnight when my parents decided to leave everything to go on a trip around the world, for an undetermined period of time.
I was 6 but yet I knew this adventure would change the rest of my life.
For 4 years, we traveled around the globe; from Rio de Janeiro to Noumea, I was always the kid from far away. Everytime we'd move somewhere, I had to adjust to my new environment. At first, I could only watch and learn from others because I couldn't speak any words of the language I was facing and it made realize that one has to look at the real person inside everybody to truly appreciate the human being in front of them. I got the chance to spend a few weeks with the Kanaks, a tribe from New Caledonia and learnt about their culture and beliefs. In return, my mother and I taught them how to cook a French boeuf bourguignon that we all shared as a unified community. For the first time, I was not the kid from far away anymore, I was one of them.
Obligations brought my family back to France and before I realized it, we were in a new house with a white fence, in the white neighborhood of a big metropole. Then came my first day as a freshman, in my new high school where 99% of the student body is white; I look around and realized how sad I was. I had never been this lost in my entire life; not even on my first dance recital in Vietnam, performing the "Mua Non La" -The Hat Dance-, not even in the desert of Morocco.
As a matter of fact, I might an eighteen years old white girl, living in the suburbs of a big city and from an middle-class family, it doesn't define who I am; I can't identify to one and only culture when my life and childhood has been full of ethnic diversity. My identity comes from littles pieces of life I collected along the road and made me become the grown-up I am today. Strenght lies in differences, not in similarities and my experience taught me that the best contribution you could give your community is to be yourself.
I never understood its importance until I had to live with people different from me but today, I give diversity a great value in my life because it helps me understand the real world, not just the neighborhood I live in; it gives me greater respect for those who have different beliefs and cultures.
As it is always a thrive to experience a part of a new culture and share my own, I am looking forward to meet students from a wide range of backgrounds and learn about their diversity.
My experiences pushed me towards my aspirations for my future and I know your university is the place where my opinions and ideas can flourish and lead to real motivations for a change. I would love to become a part of your community while adding to its diversity of mind and contribute to make this world a better place.
My name is Lea and I am from France. I'm applying to school in the States this year and as you may know, the Common App 2012-2013 launches tomorrow. I've been working on my essay for quite a long time and I now need reviews, edits, feedbacks, anything that could help me improve it so it doesn't look I am a poor foreign kid that can't put their ideas together ! Well I might be exaggerating but I would need a Native speaker to proofread me.
Thank you for your help and don't hesitate to contact me !
Here's my essay on diversity
Prompt: A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
"Strenght lies in differences, not in similarities"
People classify diversity through differences; ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic classes, gender, sexual orientation and even hair color, they all tend to put a label on each one of us. To me, however, diversity is the understanding that each individual is unique.
This precept comes from my childhood and the way it shaped my personality for a lifetime.
I am a banal, white, teenager living in a house surrounded by a neat white fence, in the suburbs of a big city. Nothing original nor interesting. Nonetheless, my life changed overnight when my parents decided to leave everything to go on a trip around the world, for an undetermined period of time.
I was 6 but yet I knew this adventure would change the rest of my life.
For 4 years, we traveled around the globe; from Rio de Janeiro to Noumea, I was always the kid from far away. Everytime we'd move somewhere, I had to adjust to my new environment. At first, I could only watch and learn from others because I couldn't speak any words of the language I was facing and it made realize that one has to look at the real person inside everybody to truly appreciate the human being in front of them. I got the chance to spend a few weeks with the Kanaks, a tribe from New Caledonia and learnt about their culture and beliefs. In return, my mother and I taught them how to cook a French boeuf bourguignon that we all shared as a unified community. For the first time, I was not the kid from far away anymore, I was one of them.
Obligations brought my family back to France and before I realized it, we were in a new house with a white fence, in the white neighborhood of a big metropole. Then came my first day as a freshman, in my new high school where 99% of the student body is white; I look around and realized how sad I was. I had never been this lost in my entire life; not even on my first dance recital in Vietnam, performing the "Mua Non La" -The Hat Dance-, not even in the desert of Morocco.
As a matter of fact, I might an eighteen years old white girl, living in the suburbs of a big city and from an middle-class family, it doesn't define who I am; I can't identify to one and only culture when my life and childhood has been full of ethnic diversity. My identity comes from littles pieces of life I collected along the road and made me become the grown-up I am today. Strenght lies in differences, not in similarities and my experience taught me that the best contribution you could give your community is to be yourself.
I never understood its importance until I had to live with people different from me but today, I give diversity a great value in my life because it helps me understand the real world, not just the neighborhood I live in; it gives me greater respect for those who have different beliefs and cultures.
As it is always a thrive to experience a part of a new culture and share my own, I am looking forward to meet students from a wide range of backgrounds and learn about their diversity.
My experiences pushed me towards my aspirations for my future and I know your university is the place where my opinions and ideas can flourish and lead to real motivations for a change. I would love to become a part of your community while adding to its diversity of mind and contribute to make this world a better place.