"I want to strive for the best and be closer to home" - Why do I want to attend VCU ?

I am not great at writing papers so please give me advice :) thanks!

Virginia Commonwealth University has always been my dream school ever since I was younger. I applied last year but unfortunately did not get accepted. Some of my friends say I won't get in to VCU, which hurts me but it also makes me more determined. As of now I am attending Radford University. VCU is more for me because I want to strive for the best and have the perfect future that I imagine for myself . If I attend VCU I know I will achieve more and get the most out of college. I also would be proud to say that I graduated from VCU because that means I worked hard to get my degree and I fulfilled the high expectations.

Since I graduated high school I realized I have changed greatly. I am more mature and I have developed into a smarter and better person. I look at life way different than I use to because now I try to plan ahead and not procrastinate . When things don't go my way I understand that in life things sometimes are not fair and everything happens for a reason. If I have any problems in life I know to always go to god. God has given me so many opportunities and ideas to engage in. Before college I was not really religious but now with the independence I have I always know that anything is possible with god in my life. Now I look back and I really regret not focusing on my future. I was always focused on socializing but I am responsible for being my own failure; the goal now is to move forward.

Other than academically wise, another reason is I would love to be closer to home. I am from Chesterfield and it would be more convenient for me if I went to VCU. I wouldn't commute because I really like the dorm life and I want to have the best college experience . If I lived at home and drove to VCU everyday I wouldn't feel like I am attending a University and I know I would meet more people if I lived on campus. It has been hard for me at Radford because I am four hours away. I do like it here but I know that I would be much more happier at VCU. Not only because I would be closer to home but I just love the atmosphere at VCU. The city is so exciting to me and I would rather be in the city than in the country, where there is not many people around or things to do. Even though I am aware that the city has more violence, but I am willing to take that risk to attend such a perfect college for me.

To be honest, at Radford I haven't really been in tuned with my grades like I should be. This semester I am working and studying more so I can get my GPA higher. If I attend VCU I know I would always work hard because I understand that VCU is more of a challenging University. To do good, I would have to study twice as much as I do at Radford. I will definitely be involved at VCU because when I am I do better academically. I plan to try out for cheerleading, dance, and any other clubs that I am interested in. At Radford I am in the Snowboarding Club, but I really regret not trying out for the cheerleading team. As of now I am undecided but I am interested in Advertising or Marketing. I understand that VCU has a great Business School that is also a major factor for me in applying to VCU. I know VCU with help me decide what I want to do in the future because I will learn so much more there.

I am positive that VCU is the best fit for me and I really hope I will be privileged enough to attend in the fall 2011. If I don't get accepted, then I will not give up and I'll apply the following semester. I am not a quitter because when I know what I want I won't quit until I achieve it. Thank you so much VCU for considering my application.

Virginia Commonwealth University has always been my dream school ever since I was younger.---Not an interesting sentence... if you want to begin like this, the sentence has to include a REASON. ...has always been my dream school because of ________________. I applied last year...

... also would be proud to say that I graduated from VCU because that means I worked hard to get my degree and I fulfilled the high expectations. ---Okay, but if you do not have an interest worth mentioning, some goals or plans, then it is really not very persuasive.

Other than academically wise academics, another reason...

...I haven't really been in tuned tune with my grades like I should be.

This essay has some great emotional appeal, but it really will be better if you show that you have been reading books about your intellectual interests and that your reading has caused you to develop some career goals.

:-)